A miserable run (double-whammy)

I was not looking forward to running today at all.  I had a headache most of the day, and by the time I got home from work, about two hours later than I had planned, I was just ready for bed.  My headache was building again, and my left knee was still sore from last Friday's run.  I even tried wearing the too-tight patellar stabilizer during the day today, but I had to take it off at noon because it was just too tight and too uncomfortable.

I should have known better than to let Mrs. F push me to run when my mind and body were telling me it wasn't a good idea.  I know she meant well, but I just should have listened to my body.  My leg wrap/tape combo didn't seem to help much today.  As it turns out, both of my long-sleeve polyester shirts were in the laundry, so I didn't have my two base cold-weather layers.  I had my loose-fitting long-sleeve orange shirt and a windbreaker shell--let's just say I was too bloody cold before the run and immediately thereafter.

As I stated earlier, I did not want to be out running today.  I was grumbling and cursing under my breath because I was tired, uncomfortable, and sore, and because I knew I still had a load of reading to finish for my current class.  I was slow on the warmup walk, and my knee was already aching.  When I started the run, I gave it everything I had though, but I'm guessing it wasn't much.  Mrs. F was still stretching when I got started, but that was fine because I knew she would catch up.  However, as we progressed and I could either hear her coming or see her long shadow coming up behind me from either a car's headlamps or a street light, I pushed myself to go faster.  Honestly, I was not really happy about being out there running and I figured I would at least make it a bit rough on her today.  Not nice, I know, but c'est la vie.  She almost caught up to me a couple of times, and each time I pushed ahead.  I kept the lead through most of the first mile, even though my knee was painful and I could feel the shin splints in my right leg starting to flare up. She got to pull ahead as we neared the one mile mark.  I was fine with that, because I knew I was done.

Today I felt like I did during one of the early weeks of the Couch-to-5k program--I didn't want to be out there, and I wasn't going to kid myself that I'm a runner.  I'm a hugely fat guy who had been out there forcing himself to run for nine weeks, partly motivated by a fear of death and partly motivated by knowing that some people would think that I wouldn't be able to do it.  Yeah, I got through the nine weeks, but who am I trying to kid now? Or, at least, that's how my thinking was going.

When we got to the end, I turned around and told Mrs. F I needed to walk.  Maybe I could have run more if I had not pushed so hard on the way out, but by the way my knee was hurting before I got started, I don't think it's likely that I would have made the two miles anyway.  Upon hearing I was going to walk, Mrs. F decided to run further on before turning around.  Oh, how I envy her! She's really enjoying this, the running.  I've had some good runs, but I can't say I really enjoy it right now, at least not consistantly.

So I started hobbling back.  I yelled and cussed at myself in my mind (and probably out loud, at points). I knew I had run nearly three times as much before.  Heck, I ran about seven and a half miles last week! There was no way I was going to keep walking.

That settled it.  I decided to push myself back to a run.  It didn't last very long, though.  My face and neck were cold and my headache was getting worse.  My left knee was sore with every footfall, but if I tried to adjust my stride so as to spare the knee, it aggravated the shin splints on my right leg.  I tried to put the pain out of mind, and pushed on, but when a burst of burning pain erupted in that right shin, I gave up all hope of running. That was the double-whammy: my sore knee and the shin splints.

I slowed to a walk, but now the walk was painful for both legs.  Having slowed down, I started to become more chilled (it was in the 30s °F).  Including the distance of our warm-up walk, I was still a mile from the car.  Had it not been so cold, I would have sat down on the trail and waited for Mrs. F to come by, and I would have asked her to get the car.

I made it back to our starting point, and back to the car, but I was not a happy camper.  I was now even more tired and sore.  Whatever good I did resting my right leg since Friday was undone--my shin splints are now as sore as they were then.  If I can't get these issues squared away within the next 10 days, I've just flushed my 5k registration fee down the toilet.

I finished the evening icing my legs and reading my coursework.  Because I got off work late and we took our run right away, I didn't eat until late and that has really thrown me off my pattern.  It's now 10:32 PM and I'm not tired, yet I know I need sleep.

I'm not looking forward to facing the scale this week.  I already figure it will be a few steps back.  I'm just tired of it all. I've never been a thin guy.  I'm just so tired!