Long, dark winter

I've been away (mentally) for too long.  The pressure of finishing grad school is really getting to me. I've only taken one short run in the past three months.  Health issues are starting to press again.  Weight is still hovering on a plateau, though, so that's the only good news (beside the fact that I'm still upright and taking nourishment).  I've really come to hate the short days of winter, so am glad to see spring finally here (and even a bit early in our area).  I'm in a funk I just can't shake.

I have only 11 weeks of classes left, though I think I have a break in there somewhere for Independence Day.  I walk in May, but am not very excited about it (but that's another story).

Stress levels at home are high.  My fuse has been short, and I feel like a prisoner in my own home: every evening is defined by needing to do homework.  Unfortunately, I get distracted far too easily, putting me behind, and that adds to the stress.

[Sigh!]

The only thing that has kept me going is knowing that Mrs. F and I will be taking a canoe trip together in May, to celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary.  It will be our first four-day weekend together, without the kids (and without a schedule of family or friends to visit) in ten or more years.  We're headed up into the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness (BWCA for short).  We'll put in as early as we can on a Friday morning, and paddle out on the following Monday.

Mrs. F has continued running.  She was already faster than me while we were doing the C25K program.  Now, I don't stand a chance of running with her again.  She's up to six miles, and I think I'd struggle through one now.  I don't want her to feel bad about it, but it just makes it so much harder for me.  This was really working when she and I were getting up and squeezing our half-hour in early in the morning.  With longer runs and longer times now, however, it's best for her to run mid-afternoon, right after the kids get home from school.  That's right before I get home from work, and I simply have no energy to run at that time.

I ran across an article in Newsweek (online) about Lesley Kinzel, who blogs at Fatshionista.com.  She was featured because of all of the recent discussions on childhood obesity.  She was overweight as a child, and it became central to her self-identity at a very young age.  In reading her story, I realized the same was true for me: from an early age, I was always "the fat kid", and that became how I see myself.  I was always "the fat kid", and, even as an adult, I still see myself as "the fat kid".

The real kicker is that I actuall dropped to a healthy weight for a while.  During my senior year in high school, I was studying karate and was biking everywhere.  Looking back on photos now, I see that I looked pretty good, but I still saw myself as "the fat kid".  How is it that we can get a self-image so far ingrained into our being that it becomes the permanent filter through which we see ourselves and our lives?

I have no clue what I weighed when that picture was taken.  All I now know is that I look at it and I want to cry.  Had I only been able to see myself as I was, versus how I perceived myself to be, it might have helped me keep the weight off.

About four years later I was around 230 lbs.  A year or two after that, I was 260 lbs.

Yet, to me, I felt no different at 260 lbs. than I did when that photo was taken.

Even now, as I hover just under 290 lbs., I feel just as fat as I've always felt--sometimes even bigger--even though I know my peak weight was 348 lbs!

There's a lot of pain tied up inside somewhere.  I hate being "the fat kid".  Right now, however, I have no energy or motivation to go out there and fight for a change.

This is how I looked during the summer of 2009, before I started the C25K program.  I can see the difference between the pictures, but my mind has always seen me the same way, regardless of how large I was. When Mrs. F posts family picutres online today, I still cringe.  I don't like the way I look.  I never have liked the way I look, because I remember that no one likes "the fat kid".

Here we were after our second 5k, the Howard Lake Turkey Tagalong.  This is after completing C25K and proving I could run over three miles.  Yet, I still see myself as "the fat boy". How can I ever reprogram that image? How can I ever get beyond that identity? I know many of you will think of your own journeys, and the things that worked for you.  I thought I had found a new life, but being "the fat boy" has been like a boat anchor.  The way I figure it, I'll  probably need to start C25K all over again, because I don't know if I can even run a mile at this point.  The bike has been in the garage, too.

Am I feeling sorry for myself? Is that all this is? Is it just a pity party? If it is, I wish I knew how to stop the music.  If this is a carnival ride, I want to get off. I'm madly envious of the success Mrs. F has achieved.  I just feel powerless to follow in her footsteps.  I'm back to feeling like I'll be trapped this way for the rest of my life, and I know that means it will be a shorter life.  That just feeds the depressive cycle.  I find myself craving more sweets and comfort foods because I'm feeling down.  I know they're no good for me, but I want them anyway.  I just want a little relief now--I'm not thinking about the long-term.  As I'm writing this, I'm beating myself up even more, because I realize how odd it must sound for a guy to be rambling on like this.  This struggle, and my self image, don't help me feel masculine.  Do other overweight guys simply never feel this way, or are they stronger than I so as to shrug it all off?  I wish it were possible for the old Simon and Garfunkel song to be true: "I am a rock. I am an island. / And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries."

Weight check 2/12 - Mrs. F

Mrs. F
Last Friday: 166.8 lbs.


Today: 164.9 lbs.


Gain/Loss: -1.9 lbs.


Goal: 150.0 lbs.


Cumulative: 17.9 lbs.


Pounds to lose: 14.9

Comment: Woot! Im very pumped to see the lose this week. Last week,I didnt even weigh in cause it was a bad week! I got back on track this week, did two good runs and watched my intake. I love seeing the numbers go down! Almost 18 lbs lost, it still amazes me.

Saturday run

This week has been lighter on the workout front as Ive been dealing with shin splints on the side of my legs. Plus my knees were a bit achy. I thought it best to keep it slow and easy this week.

I did two runs on the treadmill on monday and wednesday at 2 miles a piece. I finally got my first outside run in over a week in today. I set out hoping to hit 3 or 4 miles today but my muscles didnt agree. I cut the run short and ended up going only 2.2 miles. My pace was 13:45 -- so I figured slow and short is good for this week.

I think I just need to ease back into upping my miles. I went too far too fast. I looked at my running tracking site and realized I doubled my output -- oops! I was doing about 6 miles a week and then the next went to 13, then 10. So thats likely why Im dealing with shin splints. My goals got a bit ahead of my body!

But I did put in 39.5 miles for the month of January. I am extremely pleased with that output. Ideally, Im shooting for 42 a month but I will definitely take the 39!

Keep on running folks
Mrs. F

Weight check January 29

FatManRunning

Last Friday: 280.9 lbs.


Today: 281.6 lbs.


Gain/Loss: +.7 lbs.

Goal: 210.0 lbs.


Cumulative: 18.8 lbs.


Pounds to lose: 71.6


Comment: My focus this week was homework, I only have three more classes to go.

Mrs. F
Last Friday: 166.9 lbs.


Today: 166.8 lbs.


Gain/Loss: -.1 lbs.


Goal: 150.0 lbs.


Cumulative: 16.0 lbs.


Pounds to lose: 16.8

Comment: I was dealing with some shin splints on the side of my legs so I deliberately took an easier workout week. I only ran 6 miles this week. I feel pretty good about not gaining as I seemed to eat a lot and worked out less! Hopefully I can get back in gear and get the numbers trending downward again.

FatManRunning and climbing and skiing...

It's so nice to have a free evening.  I got my school work in a day early this past week and am facing a lighter list of assignments for this week (one week before my finals).  Tonight's Scout meeting was also cancelled because of the weather (blizzard conditions here resulted in recommendations against any travel this evening and two of the other leaders indicated that they wouldn't be able to make it). That meant I was home on a Monday evening without any real pressure to be doing anything other than getting the treadmill up.

I was excited to learn that Mrs. F and our eldest son got a head start on putting the treadmill together.  By the time I got home, there weren't too many steps left to complete.  I let our son continue the fine job he was doing while I went upstairs and made some calls to make sure the boys knew there would be no meeting tonight.  When finished, I helped him finish the treadmill assembly.

Once it was up and running, I took the first run, and then a number of the older kids wanted to give it a try.  My run was very short (I inadvertantly activated a pre-programmed run and worked myself up to a headache within moments), but I got on for another one later. Mrs. F got a couple of miles in.  Since this was my first night of running in weeks, I opted for a single mile.  I started at four miles per hour, and increased my speed as I went on, until I finished one mile at seven.  I don't know why, but running that one mile on the treadmill felt longer than three miles outside! We do have the TV up on the wall now, though, so I was able to watch as I was running, so I did not focus on the clock or mileage figures in front of me. All in all, I finished with a 14 minute mile pace.

Since I've not been running, I kept it to one mile and will see how I'm feeling tomorrow before committing to run again.  On my last weight check, I was glad to find out I was within one pound of where I was back at Thanksgiving.  Since I've not been running--and have not been eating so well--I was afraid that I could have been up at least 10 lbs.

Last week, I chaperoned a trip with the local 6th grade class.  We had lots of fun, and activities included cross country skiing, snowshoeing, hiking, and climbing on an indoor climbing wall.  I've always wanted to try cross country skiing and snowshoeing, and was excited that they had gear I could use.  Both activities were really fun, and I hope I'll have a chance to try them again.  I never imagined, however, that I would ever try a climbing wall.  I was always afraid of heights when I was a kid, and I've always figured my size and weight would make climbing a 45' wall an impossible feat.  I agreed to give it a try (in part to try to convice one of the kids who was a bit fearful to try it), and I made it to the top! Wow!

That one activity helped renew my hope that I can yet get back on top of this weight loss initiative. I still have a hectic schedule ahead of me.  Finals for my current class are just a week away, and I have three more classes coming in rapid succession, so I don't have any illusions about it being easy.  I've also made it clear that I need someone else to take on my responisbilities with the local Boy Scout Troop, at least until I am done with my schooling.  Hopefully, that will allow me to set aside a little more time for running.

It's good to be back!

The treadmill run

Our eldest son did a good part of putting the treadmill together this afternoon before Mr. F came home from work and helped. It was very exciting! All the kids who were old enough were asking for turns on the treadmill. It was fun seeing them all run!

Mr. F got a run in as well, but Ill let him tell you about that. I was really excited to try it out. Overall I found it harder to use. I like the ablity to slowly increase my speed or lower it. But in general, it just seemed like my mileage progress was sooo slow! I think it will be great for short runs (1-2 miles) and great for bad weather days. I think I will stick to my outside runs for the long ones though.

I started the run with the intention of running for 45 minutes. I even let all the kids have their turns first, so that I could get my longer time in. Ha! After it felt like forever(really only 11:49 ) I got to the first mile point. I adjusted my plan to run for 30 minutes. At about 1.5 miles, I thought, forget it -- Im only running 2 miles lol! So I ended up doing 2 miles in 22:30 -- which is an awesome pace -- 11:15. Perhaps if I had slowed it down, maybe it wouldnt have seemed so hard. It just seemed to drag though.

My mp3 player wasnt charged. So Im looking forward to trying that option out. Mr. F also spent several hours getting our wires rewired so that we could get reception downstairs where the treadmill and tv are. I found it hard to concentrate though on the show. It might depend on how interested in the program. It would be interesting to run while watching biggest loser!

On the eating front, it was a tough weekend. On Saturday, I think I was about 300 calories over. Sunday -- I did okay during the day but watching the football game, gave in to the snack cravings. Eeek! Today, too, wasnt the best. But Im officially going to get back on track!!!


Keep on running folks
Mrs. F

Fridays run 1/22

I didnt get out as early as I normally do during the week. So it was a bit different running more in the dusk with the street lights coming on. I had to pick up Mr. F from the field trip, so timing was an issue. Im glad though that I pushed through and still managed to run.

I wondered if part of my problem on Wednesday, might have been that I was less active during the day. I had sat more than I was up and moving that day. Generally Im up and down the stairs lugging laundry, up folding clothes or loading the dishwasher. Those little things make a difference in warming muscles for sure! I still think Ive been pushing a little too hard and I need to back down on increasing my mileage so much but overall todays run was much better.

I didn't get any burning shin pain -- woot! I was really worried bout shin splints. I still got some pain on the side of my leg but that didnt start in til mile 2 or so. That periodically has been where I feel the strain, on the side of my leg and going up. Its almost like shin splints but on the side, kinda weird. Thankfully, it feels fine today, so I know I just need to slow down my adding mileage. Or if I do a long run, make sure I take a full rest day the next. I think if Im going to do multiple days in a row, I have to take shorter runs and only do one long run.

I did 3.31 miles in 44:25, thats a 13:26 pace. I tried to slow it down especially after my leg muscles were showing strain. That brings my total for the week to 10.6 which meets my goal of hitting 10 miles a week. Ive done 33.3 miles for the month! Im excited about seeing that number go up. I need 42 miles a month to reach my goal of 500 miles for the year. At first, the monthly number was going up so slowly, I was afraid I wouldnt make it. I think though I can do it!

Its raining today and with the potential of freezing rain on the radar, I wont be running today! If conditions are okay tommorrow, Ill try to do 2 miles or if Mr. F gets our treadmill up and running!

Keep on running folks
Mrs. F

Weight check January 23rd

FatManRunning

Last Friday: 279.4lbs.


Today: 280.9 lbs.


Gain/Loss: +1.5 lbs.

Goal: 210.0 lbs.


Cumulative: 19.5 lbs.


Pounds to lose: 70.9


Comment: I've been lazy and swamped with schoolwork. I'm not exercising regularly at all right now. I did get to chaperone a school trip with one of our boys, so I got to cross country ski, hike, snowshoe, and climb a rock wall -- all over two days. The treadmill is still waiting for my attention, as is the TV that we are going to mount on the wall (it's what most of the kids voted to buy with Christmas monies that came in). Once its up and running, I hope to be doing the same in the morning before work. I've not gained as much as I feared. I just feel pretty horrible right now.


Mrs. F
Last Friday: 167.2 lbs.


Today: 166.9 lbs.


Gain/Loss: -.3 lbs.


Goal: 150.0 lbs.


Cumulative: 15.3 lbs.


Pounds to lose: 16.9

Comment: I was pretty disapointed with today's weigh in. I really had hoped for at least a pound. I guess though overall, Im very thankful I didn't gain. Its likely that last weeks loss was artifically low(since i had been sick and undereating or not eating at all) and the regular eating put my weight back more stable. I thought I did well with my calorie counting but I know my sleep was dreadfully low. I dont sleep as well when Mr. F is out of town, so I tend to stay up later. That impacts weight loss as well. A friend pointed out that I lost 4.5 lbs over two weeks and if you list it that way, it doesnt sound so bad!

Wednesday

I really wanted to try and run 4.5 miles today. I modified my favorite in town route and got it up to 4.5 miles. The weather was bout 28 degrees (20 degree windchill) with bright sun.

It felt good for the first mile or so. Then I noticed my left shin was starting to burn a bit. I slowed down my pace and that eased up some then. Anytime that I upped my pace again, it started hurting. I was also having some muscle pain along the side of my leg, which has plagued me periodically.

After this not getting much easier by the 2 mile mark, I elected to ditch my planned route and cut it short. I really was disapointed. I so badly, wanted to increase my mileage, even if it was only .3 more. I kept telling myself though, that its better to run short today in order to run long another day. And I know for sure, that I dont want to mess around with shin splints.

I love running. So I have my mind on my next goal and its already jumping ahead of where my body is. I need to dial it back and remember that I just started running 5 months ago and Im doing great considering! AFter all I ran 13 miles last week, thats no small feat.

I ended up running 3.07 miles in 41:40, which is a 13:35 pace. I was pleased that I at least got 3 miles in . That brings me my total so far for the month of January to 30 miles!!!!

I think I will see how I feel tommorrow. My original plan was to try and run 2 tommorrow. I think, Im scrapping that and just going to run 1 if I feel okay. If Im overly sore, then I will take it as a rest day and run again Friday.

I wonder if I need to get back to stretching. As winter approached, i slacked on the stretching routine. So that maybe part of it and the other part might just be that Im running longer and farther.

Looking forward to my weight check on Friday. Mr. F is out of town chaperoning one of our sons field trips, so weigh in will be not until late afternoon.

Keep on running folks
Mrs F

3 days in a row!

I did get out and run on Saturday as well. So I made it 3.6 that day before I had enough. i think my pace that day was 13:30. That brought my weekly total up to 13 miles. Boy was I sore!!! I was pleased though, I had run 3 days in a row for the first time. I thought I might need two days of recovery but one was enough.

So I rested yesterday and began my new week today. I ran 4.2 miles in roughly 53 minutes. My watch disapeared between yesterday and today, so I didnt have as accurate of a time. I noted the time, on the stove clock when I left and then returned. So pretty close. That was a 12:23 pace!

Im thinking more about running the half marathon. Im still not sure I cna pull it off this year but Im thinking bout trying. Im trying to get my mileage up to 15 miles a week and running 5-6 days a week as well. Im aiming for 4 days this week as well, and then next week working my way up to 5. I plan on increasing my mileage slowly until IM running at least 3 miles every day.

I have been doing well on my calorie counting. So well that Im under on most days. Anyone know on the days you run or exercise, should you keep your net calories at a certain leval? Do you need to eat back some of the calories burned? Today, partly cause I skipped lunch and only had some peanut butter toast, due to crazy busy today, but after supper I had only eaten 957 calories and netted 257. I decided that was way too low especially since i ran a good distance today and then I ate a bagel. I know I need to work on eating regularly and not skipping when Im stressed or busy.

Keep on running
Mrs. F

An extra run and a weight check

I did get out and do a 1.13 mile run. The little neighborhood behind our house, loops around. I calculated that and it comes out to 1.1 mile if I run the inner circle as well. I could defnitely feel that I had run yesterday. It wasnt as bad as I thought it might be. I was glad to only be running a mile though! I did 1.l3 miles in 13:50, which translates on the running site to a 12:15 pace. Hmm, doesnt quite seem right but hey Ill take it!

Mrs. F
Last Friday: 171.4 lbs.


Today: 167.2 lbs.


Gain/Loss: -4.2 lbs.


Goal: 150.0 lbs.


Cumulative: 15.6 lbs.


Pounds to lose: 17.2


Comment: I was sick this week, so I definitely had a little extra help. Im a little nervous that once my regular eating catches up to me, that I might gain a pound or two back. I was so excited to hit the 15 lbs lost marker! It finally feels like Ive made a significant dent in my weight loss. Plenty of work to go!

Thursday's Run

The weather was great, even though the roads were a bit messy. It was 30.4 degrees, it felt heavenly.

I set out with no specific route in mind and with the intent of doing a minumum of 3 miles or at least 45 minutes. I was a bit brave today and went up one of the longer hills in town. I didnt really like that much but it was good to get it out of the way.

I varied my route again today in hopes that I would find one that totaled 4 miles that worked for me. And I did! I was looking for a route that didnt make me feel like I was doubling back. So I went from my house, up an east/west street and over and back down another east/west street. I also added in, an additional couple of blocks on another north/south street. And then went back to my traditional ending points. Overall it worked well. I didnt feel like I was doubling back, since I was on a different road rather than the one I started on.

I went 4.23 miles in 52:30. Thats a 12:25 minute pace. I was definitely pleased with that time! Im trying to build up my distance, so I can start the half marathon training. The treadmill hasnt been assembled yet so all of my runs are still outside. Once we get the treadmill up and running, then I want to add in my 1-2 mile runs on the off days on the treadmill. In theory, it should be easier to sneak it in during the day, while the little kids are watching a movie. Otherwise I have been going out after my big kids get home from school. I like running in the daylight and the warmth of the day but thats a tough time to be gone from the house. Its called the crazy hours, between 3-5 when the kids are a bit riled up! So Ive limited it to going out 2-3 times a week but I have been slowly increasing my distance.

I had a good tracking and eating day today. In fact, I probably need to eat some more since I burned a good bit with my run. My net is really low lol, I like having that problem. Im looking forward to the weigh in tommorrow. Im hoping for at least a pound.

Mr. F and our eldest son are off this weekend to a wrestling tournament. Im hoping maybe I can go over to a friends house and try out her new wii fit. It will be nice to try it, so I can see if I like it before I buy it. Thats on the longer term purchase list anyway lol.

Keep on running folks
Mrs. F

Catching up (again lol)

Ive not been able to get to blogging as regularly as I would like. I hope to get back into a regular pattern of writing again though.

Last week I was able to get out for runs on Monday and Wednesday. After that it got bitterly cold(-20 real temp) and I couldnt get out. I so wanted my treadmill!! On Monday, I ran just under 3 miles and Wed, I ran about 3.6. Its tough to find a good route that doesnt double back yet stays in town. I prefer to stay in town, at this point, since the roads generally are clearer and a little less icy.

I was really excited about wednesdays run. My pace was 12:02~! I was booking it! Usually the beginnings of the run are tougher and then I find my groove.

Thankfully this week, the temps went up to a balmy 21 degrees. Monday's run was foiled by an afternoon meeting. That really bummed me. I was so looking forward to getting out and running in the warmer winter weather. Plus I hadnt run since Wed and I needed to get moving.

Thankfully, yesterday's schedule allowed me to get out for a run. I had mapped out a route ahead of time to try to get up to that elusive 4 mile mark without running around the lake. It seemed a bit chilly at first, but I quickly warmed up. The fun part about running in town is Im definitely getting a harder workout with all the hills! I did 3.95 miles(running ahead rounds up the total to 4) in 50:51. Thats a pace of 12:58.

Once the treadmill is up and assembled, Im planning on trying to add in 1-2 mile runs on the off days. I want to run 3-5 miles every other day outside and then do 1-2 on the off days. My ultimate goal is to do a half marathon. I beleive though, I have to be running 25 miles a week before I can start the half training plan. So it looks like it will probably be the summer of 2011 before I get ready for my half.

Im rather sore and achy today. Not sure though if its the run or getting the stomach flu last evening. Not fun for sure! Thankfully I got my run in before I got sick! It started with our baby girl and of course at 14 months old, she cant hold her own throw up bowl. So momma got the duty of that one. Thus now its my turn to be sick. I have two others who have sucombed to this bug as well. I'm grateful though, that it seems to be a 24 hr bug and doesnt last long. Today, Im feeling somewhat better, just weak and dehydrated.

Oh almost forgot, my weigh in last Friday wasnt great. It could have been worse! Im up to 171.4. I just need to work off the holiday pounds and get back on track. There may have been some residuel water weight in there too. We shall see what this weeks weigh in brings. Im sure being sick will help lol -- not my preferred method of weight loss though!!!

Keepon running
Mrs. F

Holiday Recap

Sorry folks for being absent so long ... it was tough finding some blog time with all the kiddos home!

I did a weigh in on christmas eve and was down about 3/10ths of a pound. I didnt get a weigh in the next week, but Im pretty sure I gained! Now its back to tracking calories and getting my eating under control. I didnt track the entire two weeks the kids were off of school -- oops!

On an upnote, I did get several runs in. One of the highlights was getting to run with my eldest son on christmas eve morning. He ran slow for his dear old mother but we ran together for 2 miles before he took off on his own. The week of christmas, I got 3 runs in. We had a major snowstorm that left us with 16+ inches of snow and I was pleasantly surprised to sneak some runs in! I ran Tuesday before the storm hit for about two miles. Then as Mr. F noted, we got a run in on Christmas eve during a lull in the snow. Then I got out on Sunday for another 3.6 miles. Ive started tracking my run totals with running ahead. One of my goals for this year is to run 500 miles. Its a pretty neat site and I love how it automatically calculates your minutes per mile for you.

I got an after christmas present of a new watch, so I have been enjoying the stopwatch features! I also got a new outer layer. I opted for a soft lined duo dry jacket from target. Previously one of my layers was a very light windbreaker, basically just the outer shell. So I tried out my new jacket on the run yesterday and it was great. I even left off the arm warmers and my fleece vest and was still plenty warm. Which really is amazing since it was about 1 degree!

I finally found a combo for pant layers that works. I borrowed hubbys spandex running tights and added those under my other layers and it works great! So I plan to eventually get a pair of my own. I wear those, then some warm wear, and two loose fitting running pants over the top of that.

Most of my runs have been in town now that its icy and snowy out. I find that when the traffic is light enough, I end up running down the lane of traffic to find the ice free road. Its interesting to me that my feet seem to automatically slow down as I come upon icy road patches. Even with the ice and the cold, I have been pleased that my pace is staying around 13 -14 minute miles.

I got out on the 29th and again on new years day. Each of those runs were over 3 miles. Im trying to work my way up to 4-5 miles on a run. Its been really cold here though, so its tough to run much longer than that right now. And this past weekend, it was dangerously cold, so I didnt get out to run. -23 real temp is just too much for me!

On another sidenote -- we finally ordered a treadmill. The really cold subzero temps and the plethora of ice around town prompted getting that in order. Im kinda excited! Im sure the lure of the treadmill will wear off after running in place for awhile. I like the idea of being able to run during naptime for the little ones while the preschoolers watch a movie or something. Plus I love then knowing how far I ran without either mapping it or driving my route in the car to map it! One of my wish list items is a gps watch ... although with the price range ... it will be a loong while before I save up enough for that one!

When we checked out the treadmills, we actually brought our running shoes in to try them out. I think it amused the store clerks to see such seriousness lol. We ended up with a medium range nordic track. Im hoping this will help Mr. F get back to running as well. Since we wont have to layer up for the run on the treadmill!

I got out for another run yesterday. Not quite as far, 2.86 miles, but I ran it in 36:51. So a good pace for the cold temps. My fleece scarf is a lifesaver on these really cold days. My total for the year, is 6.2 -- woot!

Keep on running folks
Mrs. F

White Christmas

Well, here in Minnesota it surely was a white Christmas.  We had about 14" of snow going into midday today. I'm sure glad I got my run in yesterday.

Yes, I got a run in yesterday, on Christmas Eve day. It was the first real run I've taken in a month.  I ran a bit over the weekend a week or two ago, but nothing major.  I guess yesterday wasn't anything major, either. Since it was my first run in a month, I stuck to a mile (actually, just a bit over a mile).  Since we had a break in the snowfall during the morning and the plows were keeping the roads clear, we decided to take a run through the neighborhood.  Mrs. F and I set out with our eldest son and our almost 10-year old daughter.  Josiah ran with Mrs. F, and Ariana ran with me.  I was pleased that I was able to keep Mrs. F and Josiah in my sights--at the end of my mile they were less than two blocks ahead of me.

I could have pushed further on, but decided to take it easy on my first day back at it.  Overall, it didn't feel too bad.  At the end, I finally felt myself rolling off of my legs.  I was tempted to keep running, but erred on the side of caution.  Sitting here as I write, I'm glad I took it easy.  My leg muscles are a bit sore today, but I can't be sure if it is from the running, or dealing with the snow yesterday, or helping to build some huge snowmen in the yard today.

I was up 1.9 lbs. this week, and my sugars have been edging higher again.  I really need to get back to my regular exercise routine.  I really need to get back to getting out with Marie, because if I'm left to do it on my own I'm more likely to just take a pass with the intention to try again the next day.  Argh! I guess I'll just be thankful that I had some time off yesterday and today, and am now looking forward to a nice weekend.

Whether you observe it or not, I hope you've all had a Merry Christmas day.

Friday 's run

Its been a very stressful week, so I was tempted not to run. I knew though, that I had a holiday party for Mr. F's work and probably needed to burn some calories before hand!

The temps felt tropical compared to the subzero stuff from before. Its amazing how relative tempature feels. I remember complaining bout running in 30 degree temps earlier in the season. Now Im particularly thankful for a 20 degree day to run in!

I ran my alternate neighborhood route. Basically I run from my house, through a neighborhood and out of town on a gravel/dirt road. It works well since the traffic ie really light and the roads are fairly clear of snow and ice.

Overall it was a good run, had a few slow spots but I did 3 miles in 44 minutes. Not too shabby for cold weather running. I keep reminding myself, its not so important how fast but that Im out there moving and improving my fitness.

Weight check went well. I was hoping for two pounds down but I'll take the 1.2!

I'm enjoying being in the 160s's even if its on the high end. Im down a total of 14.3 pounds. Seeing the weight come off definitely helps on the motivation end. Plus if I run, i can eat some chocolate. You know the important stuff!

Im hoping to get to run with my eldest son over break. Hes been super busy with wrestling, that we havent had a chance to run together. Im sure he will take off and meet me on the run back but hey, we can start together. Some of my younger kids want to come run too. They will likely not make it hte entire three miles but it should be fun getting out together.

Keep on running
Mrs. F

The run around the lake, number two

The temps were warmer, a balmy 10 degrees, and the sun was shining -- so I took off for my long run around the lake ( 4 miles). It was nice not having subzero winds blowing for a change.

The first two miles are the tougher of the 4. So I reminded myself of that as I was running. I didnt get to borrow a watch, so I carried the cell phone instead. That gave me a starting and ending time but I elected not to pull it out as I ran each mile. Good thing I didnt, it died right after that lol.

I was looking forward to the mile segment of the trail I often run on. Last time, I was able to make up some time on that stretch as its mostly flat. Not this time! The recent snows left the trail tough to run down. Snowmobilers had packed down some of the snow but it made it hard to get traction to run. The uneven terrain of snow bumps didnt help either. I ended up walking 3 different times during that segment. It really was just hard slogging along. I allowed myself those walking segments, for 15 or 30 seconds. I figured I was at least moving!

Next time I run around the lake, I plan to take the parallel road nearby. It will add some distance but not too much more. It seems to parallel the trail fairly closely. I think though I will lose my flatness and have more hills to run.

The last mile seemed the easiest. Perhaps cause I knew I was almost done or perhaps just getting back to the mostly clear roads. It was much easier runnign there, than on the snow covered trail.

All in all, it was pretty tough running it out but IM glad I got out there and did it! I did 4 miles in 58 minutes. For comparison, last time I ran around the lake I did it in 52 minutes. It was warmer and no snow too though.

I made some good choices on food today as well. I knew I wanted a bigger sandwich at mcdonalds (the crispy chix), so I elected to skip the fries and go with water as well. I did ask my son if I could have a few of his fries and that satified my desire for those. Been busier and more stressed lately and less time for snacking. All good for weight loss, I suppose.

Keep on running
Mrs. F

A short run

I knew I needed to get out last night, since I didnt run this weekend.

It really was an out of sorts day. I was really super tired and grumpy. So I elected to just go for 2 miles or so. It was getting colder and with the windchill warnings hitting like 30 below. I knew I wouldnt want to run in that!

It actually felt slightly warmer than when I went out in the 3 degree weather. I was dreadfully slow of course but I kept reminding myself that Im getting out there and moving!!!

All in all, I think it ended up being like 2.25 miles. I even got to try out my new headlamp since it was nearing dark.

I really enjoyed the run but coming home to chaos wasn't so much fun. My off day turned into the kids off day too. Sigh. Oh well, today is a new day.

I did semi okay on the eating. A bag of one of my favorite types of xmas candy did not help. Thankfully I ran, so i had a few extra calories of indulgence.

Keep on running folks
MRs. F

Into the new week

I woke up tired and sore yesterday, and woke up down today.  My calves are sore from running in my winter gear this weekend, and from hiking over many hills throughout the day.  I came home from work yesterday not excited to run, but ready to run, but then I realized that all of my tech undergarments were still in the wash from this past weekend's camping trip, so I took a pass on the run.  I made productive use of the time, however, and got nearly all of this week's coursework done by the time I turned in.  I now only need to stay active on the course discussion board for the balance of the week.  That will let me get a head start on next week's work.

I remember my mother being after me regularly to get my room clean.  Typically, when I set about to do it, I'd find something interesting that would take my mind off the task and the task would then drag on and on and on.  I think I started keeping my room better when I discovered girls, and was allowed to have an occasional visitor of the finer persuasion.  Perhaps it is only fitting that my kids seem pretty much cut from the same cloth.  Unlike my childhood home, where my mother would not let us do household chores apart from our rooms (she said it was her job, after all), our kids have been doing chores since they've been able to follow instructions.  There's enough of them to spread out the work (perhaps that's part of the problem?), so none of them are overloaded.  Each has one chore room or area to care for each week, along with one specific dinner-related chore (e.g., clearing and washing the table, washing up the little ones, doing the dishes, sweeping the floor).  They are on a rotation.  Yet getting them to do that oftentimes feels like trying to pull teeth from a velociraptor.  If we put our attention one one or two who are slacking, the others start slacking.  If one gets a room cleaned well and early, some others will toss some things in it or make it a complete mess again.  I now understand why one of my schoolmate's parents made some rooms of the house off-limits, but that's a policy I would not be able to tolerate.  Perhaps I'll resort to my mother's course of action: wishing that her kids would grow up to have kids just like them. No, I would not wish that on my kids, though should they ever have kids of their own they might finally understand why I could so often get so frustrated so easily.

Anyway, I just wish they would realize that they get more freedom, and more privileges, when they take care of the house and keep up on their chores.  Time spent on chores--doing them, doing them again, re-doing them yet again--is time that could be spent elsewhere.  The extra wear and tear on the house and furniture means we need to repair or replace things more often, taking monies we could have spent on other things.

To top it all off, I'm not super-handy when it comes to home repairs.  There are some things I can do (I really like mudding and taping drywall), but most things take me so much longer and are so far outside of my comfort zone that I'm always second-guessing myself.  When the budget allows it, I'd rather hire one of the handy fellows from the church to come over and take care of project A or B, but the budget rarely affords such luxuries.

I'm really starting to sense that being healthy goes way beyond nutrition, rest, and exercise.  It has to do with limits and margins; it encompases how you live in all areas of life, not just what goes into the body through the mouth.

The cabin this past weekend had no TV, no computer, and no phone.  Heat was a wood stove. While there was time for fun and conversation, much time was spent preparing meals and keeping the fire going (to keep warm).  It hearkened unto a much simpler life.  Admittedly, a much harder life, but a simpler one.  I would just love to figure out some ways to simplify my own life, without making a drastic change like joining the Amish or moving to a cabin in the woods.  I really believe that a lot of the inner struggles that plague me arise from all the craziness I've allowed to come into our lives.  Running should be one of those things that gives me a taste of that simpler life, but in many ways it seems more like "just one more thing" I'm supposed to be doing.

Until my outlook changes, I just need to keep my feet going, my intake limited, and my sleep regular.  For now, that's all I can do.

The weekend

Mr. F was gone for the weekend, camping with 3 of our boys. It was a looong weekend with doing some deep cleaning and not getting enough sleep. Sick baby girl added to the fun.

I found it much more difficult to make good choices and get out and run when tired. So I didnt run either Sat or Sun. And I ate an entire small supreme pizza -- no I didnt track that day! I really dont want to know how many calories I overate!!!!

But Im trying to get back on track today even though kids were up again last night. Its hard not to reach for food when you are tired. I already had an extra cup of my coffee. That added enough calories with my creamer!

Mr. F and I plan to run tonight. So Im hoping to get my body back into submmission.

Mrs. F