Day 58 (week 8) - Feeling it

Since starting week 9, I must say I'm really feeling it. It's not the same as the way things felt in the early weeks. No, this is something different.

You see, during the first few weeks, I felt it in my leg muscles and in my lungs. I lacked for breath. I often was beat as soon as I started. Getting into the driver's seat after a training session took effort. My legs just did not want to bend. That's not what I'm feeling.

During the middle weeks, I learned that my breathing would largely take care of itself. There were still muscle aches, but not as bad. The pounds were coming off. That's not what I'm feeling.

In these later weeks, there has been a different type of fatigue, and, at times, renewed fights for breath as I pushed further and further. There's been my sore knee. That's not what I'm feeling.

It really didn't hit me until last night. We made a turkey for dinner. Alongside it, we served mashed cauliflower with some pototo flakes mixed in, and a big pan of simmered acorn squash with a hint of butter and a touch of brown sugar. It promised to be a good, generally healthy, and filling meal.

I, for one, have always loved roast turkey meat. Aside from fresh fish fried over an open fire, it is my second most favorite food. Thanksgiving and Christmas were the only two times each year that my childhood family would make turkey, and they were my favorite meals. I loved the turkey even more than I loved the chocolate pudding, or the strawberry Jello with strawberries. To me, you could get rid of the rest of the meal--even the mashed potatoes--just so long as I got my turkey.

So, when I sat down for dinner last night, I helped serve plates for everyone, and then I surveyed the plate that held the mounds of turkey flesh. I spotted and selected a significant chunk of breast meat, perhaps 10 ounces in all. I had been logging my food intake for the day, so I knew I had plenty of calories available, thanks to our morning run. Then I turned to the sides. Of each, I measured a half cup serving, and placed them on my plate. Then I began.

Oh!, the marvelous taste of my favorite fowl!

Some turkey, then a bite of squash. Another bite of sqaush, then some turkey. I drank brewed tea that was mildly sweetened with Wal-Mart's Splenda clone, Altern. Then I took a bite of mashed cauliflower potatoes, and then some turkey. Then another bite of each, but especially the turkey.

That's when I felt different.

I looked down at my plate and saw about half of my turkey sitting there. I so much wanted to eat it, but as I just noted, I felt different.

What about another bite of squash? That was yummy. It looked appealing, but I couldn't get myself to take a bite. I felt different.

Different, you see, because I was full. I don't mean that "I've eaten enough and I'm satisfied" full. I mean that "I've eaten so much that I can't possibly shove another bite into my mouth" kind of full. That's right, after eating only about half of what I planned to eat, I couldn't fathom taking another bite!

I told Mrs. F I was full as I pushed away the plate. I sat there and stared at it a moment before getting her attention. "Just look at that," I said.

The evidence was pretty clear. Half of my turkey, half of my squash, and just under half of my mashed cauliflower were still on my plate, and I couldn't eat another bite.

That's when it dawned on me--I've likely changed during these past eight weeks in ways I can't yet imagine. There I was, the biggest person in the room, pushing my plate back after having eaten less than even the youngest of the kids (though the kids likely ate more of the squash and the cauli-taters rather than meat, I'm talking sheer volume/weight).

Then, today, as the lunch hour approached, I felt different again. I knew what it was this time, though. I felt hypoglycemic (the state of having too little blood sugar). We'd already reduced my evening meds because I was feeling that way later in the day a few weeks ago. Now, it seems that I'll need to reduce my morning meds as well (I placed a call into my doctor's office after lunch). When I got home, my sugar was 65, the lowest it's been before lunch in a while. I had seen the numbers creeping down, but that was really low for me. Two teaspoons of brown sugar had me feeling better in a jiffy.

After eating what would have been a small lunch a few weeks ago, I felt full again.

So, it appears that my stomach must be shrinking a bit, or perhaps my abs are finally getting strong enough to fight against my stomach's plans for imperial expansion. Either way, I welcome this new change. I'm so full right now that I can't even imagine eating supper.

This program definately has had an impact on my life. I'm feeling it.