I have a word for today's session: misery. Maybe some of it had to do with eating a little too much yesterday, but I'm guessing that most of it is just what should have been expected--a battle in my body and in my mind.
The thought of needing to be this active (and more!) for the rest of my life is both sobering and depressing. I really don't know how people do it. The running segments made me uncomfortable and desperate to quit. I walked a faster warmup today because it felt better, and the first running segment wasn't really too bad, but it was continuing with the rest of them that really got me.
The area near my right knee felt better during those early sets, though now that I am past my exercise and have had to get up and down throughout the day, I find it just as sore as it was immediately after Monday's session. I felt a little strain in the same place on my left leg today, too.
Today I realized that, perhaps, this whole thing is more about mental strength than it is about physical strength. I mean, so far my body has been able to take everything I've thrown at it. I can't say it felt good all the time, or that it hasn't been without pain, but I have been surprised by my body's resilliance. I find that it's my mind that wants to give in before my body really starts to resist.
Getting through the third set (of six) was pretty tough today. We still covered a good amount of ground, crossing that cross street again right after we ended the third running segment. From mapping a parallel path in Google Maps, it looks like we are covering about 3/4 of a mile each way (excluding our warm up walk), so we are doing 1.5 miles in 21 minutes. That sounded good until I realized that means we're only doing 4.5 miles per hour. I mean, when we hike some weekends, I'm pretty sure we go at approximately a 4 mph pace, but now I'll need to go back and check that. I think our pacing is because we slow down a lot after our run segments and and we return to walking. I guess we'll really get a better feel for our running/jogging pace at the end of week 5 (not that I really want to think about that right now).
On the furst run of the return segment, set four of six, I could sense my internal dialoge: "Come on, let's get those feet moving." At the start of the fifth, it felt like my feet did not even want to move, but I was able to get moving. During one of the walking sets, I remember speaking to Marie in one or two word bursts between heavy breaths: "I... think... I'd... rather... die... than... keep... doing... this." I also noted that "I... sound like... that kid... from... Malcom... in the... Middle." I'm so glad I was able to find some humor in my discomfort.
To say that I forced myself to finish today's routine is a profound understatement. Honestly, I don't know how I managed to keep myself moving when most of my body was screaming "ENOUGH OF THIS ALREADY! JUST STOP RUNNING AND WALK! BETTER YET, STOP RUNNING AND JUST LIE DOWN!" Perhaps that bit I read about running being a challenge of mental toughness is really true. Well, I guess I've been working on some mental callouses this week.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow, a Thursday and a non-running day.
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Mr. F,
ReplyDeleteI just finished week 2. It was hard. I felt heavier today. I finished though and am a bit terrified of next week.