Mrs. F -- Where have I been?

2011 started with about a 5 or 10 lb gain. That quickly became, 15, 20 and eventually 30. To say that it was a tough year is an understatment. When I list the things -- lost my first grandparent,my daughter was diagnosed with a genetic disorder, my husband lost his job and I dealt full force with depression. These aren't excuses. They are reasons, yes, but not excuses.

It's enough -- although when listed, it doesn't quite express really how hard it was. It's the between the lines, the day in and day out battles with my daughter, the feeling hopeless with an undetermined amount of no job before us, and just not feeling able to cope. It wasn't just one thing.

At the end of the year, I found myself longing for that fresh start. I wanted the new year to bring something different. My husband started a new job January 3. I was getting my depression under control and working thru the framework of my daughter's diagnosis. I felt like I could see the light beginning to emerge.

I'm starting out at 185 and curently working on week 4 of Couch to 5k. I'm back to tracking calories, exercising and trying to knock off that weight. There are a few motivating factors. The two main ones are a 20 yr class renuion in August and a trip to disney with one of my best friends in October. My friend and I are both struggling and we needed a goal to stive for. So if we lose 30 lbs by october, we are going to disney together!!! I am very excited about that.

I've done this before and I know I can do it again!

Mrs. F

I also came to a point where I realized that I wasn't going to apologize for doing what I needed to do to survive. I hope, in the future, to develop better strategies for managing stress and depression. It was all I could do to function, and I refuse to apologize for that.