The cycle

Im not doing so well on either the exercise or diet department. I "know" what I should do but somehow what I do "do" isnt the right thing.

So I feel like crap because Im not eating right, exercising and sleeping enough -- then I eat some more to combat that feel like crap feeling. See -- the cycle is endless. Im hoping to get off this ride very soon. The ups and downs of the weight battle are very discouraging.

Ive very tired of regaining the same 2 or 3 lbs every week. I know its typical for weight to flucuate within 5 lbs -- its just that 5 lb radius is not where i want it to be. Its on the high end and I just dont feel very good, when I am there. I am trying to remember this is a marathon not a sprint but I want to be there already. i want to be done trying to figure this out. And I want to eat whatever I want and not gain weight --- ha! There I said it, thats really the crux of the problem. I want to eat and eat and eat and not have to do the work to keep the weight off.

So what do I do ? I dont find cutting things out completely to be helpful but I do know what types of snacks and foods are. So Im going to start by going to the grocery store and remedying that.

2nd -- Im in the process of reevaluating my exercise time. I find more often than not, if I wait til after supper, the pull of sitting and relaxing is stronger. I dont very often manage to get out and exercise at that time of the night. It was working well for me at least to go after school. The problem is it doesnt work so well for the rest of my family -- sigh. Im trying to gather up the motivation to get up early and do it then. It really is a great start to the day, I find myself more productive that way. And I cant then say, oh im going to eat this cause im exercising later and then not exercise. The calorie burn is already done. See above issues though with not enough sleep. Its just really hard to convince myself that 5 am is a good wake up time. Let alone that -- convincing myself to go out and run or bike is even harder. As summer approaches, i wont want to work out in the heat of the day anyway, its probably a good move at this point.

3rd -- Im going to search for some sort of running plan. I do better if I have a plan Im following. Whether its a goal to improve my speed, distance or whatever, I need a prescribed plan to keep me motivated. Making my own goals and plans hasnt worked well this year. I really need to step up the running.

4th -- Im going to acknowledge that Im more than a number on the scale. Its so easy to get caught up in what it says that I forget to remember God made me beautiful just as I am. Im remembering to be proud for what i have accomplished. I went from hating running and exercising to doing so on a regular basis. Thats huge folks! I lost over 30 lbs and that my friends is no small feat.

So what if the last 10 lbs are plagueing me -- I am beautiful! Im really hoping I can find the balance again for eating and exercsing. :) Megamom