Day 51 (week 8) - the brace is here

When I got home for lunch today, I noticed a package sitting on a stool near the door. Sure enough, it was my patellar stabilizer. Now I'm really looking forward to getting out there and giving it a try--even in the cold and the rain! We'll see how the run goes after work this evening.

Day 52 (week 8) - Rain delay

We've decided to postpone our run until later in the day today. It rained most of the night and is expected to rain most of the day, with highs in the 40°s, but that's not the only factor. Our youngest one was up often last night, and that caused Mrs. F to get far less sleep than did I. We both agreed that our best shot will be this evening, when the rain chance reduces.

Day 51 (week 8) - ho hum

After having had clear skies on Monday morning, with Orion clearly visible in the pre-dawn sky, we're back to overcast skies and are expected to see rain this evening through tomorrow morning. Sometimes I don't mind the grey days, but today just has me tired and wanting a rest. I was alert and full of energy this morning, but have been tired and a bit down since lunch. The meal itself was just fine--1/2 cup of brown rice, a matching amount of a homemade chicken stir-fry dish, and a tablespoon of honey. Oh, I'd forgotten just how sweet honey is!

This afternoon has brought on fatigue and a bit of a headache. Not things with which I'm unfamiliar, but rather things I've grown accustomed to feeling less and less over these past seven-plus weeks. Before, a day like today was common. Now, I can't believe I was able to function like this on a regular basis. There are stress factors in my life, of course, and I know they come into play with such down moods and physical symptoms.

My knee has felt great since Monday's run, other than an occasional twinge if I move it a certain way. I don't know if my brace has arrived yet, so I'll just plan on wrapping tomorrow as I had on Monday.

It's funny that Mrs. F was thinking about what might be next for us after we finish the Couch-to-5k program. While I don't yet like running as much as does she, I do plan to stick with it. I also plan on increasing our run times, probably in five minute incriments. Beyond that, I'm thinking about the 100 Push-ups Challenge to help address my upper body.

As to this blog, I'm committed to keeping it going. I've kept another blog before that had a different focus, so I'm not sure if this one will stay focused solely on our fitness efforts or whether it will start to incorporate more of our family life. As some of my earlier posts demonstrate, it's often very hard to keep the two separate. As to the name, I'm pretty sure we'll keep the address as http://oursecretplan.blogpot.com, if only to serve as a reminder of how all of this began. Our goals and activities may change, but I've found that creating this blog has been one of the most rewarding things I've ever undertaken. And while Mrs. F was quick to point out that I forgot to post this past Sunday (as I may have done one other time during the program), I'm happy that I've been able to post updates here on a regular basis. For me, doing anything every day is a significant achievement!

So, or now, I'm committed to finishing this program, so that means that we'll be out running again tomorrow morning for another 28 minute run. I'm hoping it will be a good one.

Day 51 - Mrs. F

Muscles are feeling fine today, thankfully and still a little bit of trouble above the left ankle. I iced it some last night, as I will tonight as well. Im hoping that the icing and rest will be enough to ease the discomfort. The right ankle/leg area felt fine this morning.

I still cannot believe that I am in week 8 of a running program. Me, the one who thought all people who run were crazy is running. I cannot wait until our eldest son finds out -- he will be happy! Of course Im betting I will hear something to the effect of "I told you that you could run". The other kids will be impressed but its our eldest boy that it will mean the most to. Hes the runner, the one who leads the pack and the one that the little ones look up to and emulate.

Im even looking forward to the day when I can run with our dog. Right Im concentrating on completeing the program so I havent brought him along. I think I will enjoy taking him with in the future months!

I have been contemplating whats beyond the race. The plan for now is to complete C25K which is this week and next. Then there will be 2 weeks to increase our distance and running times to improve for a race. Im leaning toward week 10 being either 33 or 35 minutes of running. The last week of C25k has us running 30 minutes. Then for week 11 either 35 or 38 minutes. Our race is November 14th. After that Im unsure of where to go next. I do know I want to keep running. Mr. F has talked of redoing the couch to 5k program using the distance method, so thats a possiblity. Another friend has mentioned one hour runner. I have seen mention of gateway to 8k but cannot find that plan anywhere. So Im just not sure where to go from here.

Keep on running
Mrs. F

Day 50 (week 8, day 1) - Mrs. F

I am sore. Shh -- remember I told you not to remind me that it was my idea to do an extra workout yesterday.

My muscles definitely are feeling the fact that I ran 5.3 miles between yesterday and today. My main area of pain is above my ankle to the inside of my leg.
Im not sure if its muscle or what. It almost feels like shin splints as it went further up my leg as I ran today but its in the wrong spot for shin splints. So definitely need to rest my legs tommorrow!

I was slow today as I knew I would be. My muscles were sore before i even started out as well as the bone/ankle pain started almost immmediately when running today. It was nice though to run at pace with Mr. F. He really increased his pace today and I slowed down. At times he was ahead of me, which encouraged me to pick up the pace and catch up. After all, I cant let him win, you know! His pace today was fabulous! Even still, I was encourage to have run 14 minute miles today even though I was going slow. No where near my 12 minute pace from yesterday but pretty darn good for as tired as my body was.

Ive never run with music, and it doesnt drive me as it does Mr. F. So im curious about trying a run with some music but Im not sure I will like it. Ive done all the runs with no music or anything. Mr. F always carried the podcasts, so I just ran. I will likely borrow his mp3 player and try it out first though before I purchase something I might just not use.

Keep on running,

Mrs. F

Day 50 (week 8, day 1) - unbelievable run with U2

Wow! What an amazing morning. Let me start by saying it was a good run.

Having seen the sports medicine practitioner on Friday, I have a much better understanding of the mechanics of my knee problem. Since my left patella is tracking to the outside of my leg, my stabilizer (when it arrives) will help keep it further right, to track in the center. Well, prior to this morning, I had been wrapping my leg under to the inside and then over to the outside. That wrapping put more outward pressure on my knee cap. While the wrap, as a whole, has helped to immobilize it over these past few weeks, today I tried something different. I changed the direction of my wrapping. I started under and to the outside, then came over to the inside, effectively pushing my patella toward the center. After finishing the wrap, I took two long pieces of masking tape and crossed them beside my knee cap so that each piece pulled it slightly inward, mimicking the way the straps work on the patellar stabilizer. Then, I decided to skip the pull-on brace, and I put on my running tights.

While looking through my dresser this weekend, I found a pair of polyester long johns that I haven't worn in a few years because they were too tight. This morning, I pulled them on over my running tights, and they fit well. I was excited, because this meant my legs would not be as cold this morning. I finished getting the rest of my gear on, and then drank a few ounces of apple juice for a little pre-run sugar. Realizing I had not downloaded the Week 8 podcast, I pulled open my laptop and quickly created a 28 minute play list. In reality, I think I ended up with something closer to 29 minutes, exlcluding the warm-up and cool-down segments. Here's what I decided to run with this morning:

Warm-up
Amon Hen (LOTR:FOTR Soundtrack)

Run
Pride (U2)
New Years' Day (U2)
With or Without You (U2)
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For (U2)
Sunday, Bloody Sunday (U2)
Where the Streets Have No Name (U2)

Cool-down
Concerning Hobbits (LOTR:FOTR Soundtrack)

And so we began. We switched our starting point today, parking in a residential neighborhood near the park end of the trail. We walked our warm-up and got to the trailhead just as the first song was ending. I paused the player and took a few moments to stretch, since I had not done that before leaving home (I got caught up in making the play list). Then, the music was resumed and we began running.

The first few minutes were marked by pain at my left knee. It was a little different than the pain that usually comes later in the run--a bit more acute. I could feel my knee cap firm against my homemade patellar stabilizer, so I figured that my body was just reacting to the change. Sure enough, after the first few moments my knee stopped bothering me. Other than a little twinge here or there, it felt great for most of the run.

I don't know if it was because I had more confidence in my knee wrapping, the fact that I was warmer (two leg layers and warmer air temps), or the fact that I was listening to music I really enjoy, but my pace was much better from the start. Of course, that sense of my pace was based, in part, on Mrs. F's pace. She ran more than 5k yesterday--3.3 miles--so I figured she might be a little slower today. Meaning her no disrespect, that was fine by me. I really like running beside her rather than always ending up behind her (though there are benefits to that! ;).

I had to fight through the first song, about 4 minutes, because my body just wanted me to stop. I perked up a bit when "New Years' Day" began, because I knew I was making progress. When "With or Without You" began, one of my favorite songs by U2, I found myself ready to give a bit more. I found myself adjusting my pace to match the beat, and I could tell that Mrs. F was trying to keep up.

We reached the dam end of the trail right where I hoped we'd be--at about the end of that third song. We turned around and continued. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" came on. I had forgotten how much I love U2's music from the 1980s and early 1990s.

I noticed something today that I have not noticed on our other runs. The section of trail we were now on, having just turned around near the dam, is actually a very long, gradual uphill slope. Through all our other runs on this stretch (sans Mrs. F's extra run yesterday), we were always on this segment while we were fresh and on our way out. Wow! What a difference a little prior exertion can make! As "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" began, I announced that I had reached the point of fatigue.

I pushed to keep up my pace, but Mrs. F was getting a few steps ahead of me now. I sped up, determined to stay as close to her as I could. When it seemed I could do no more, I announced that I was going to slow for a little bit. I did, and as soon as I started to do so I could feel my body wanting to slow even further, to the type of lumbering pace with which I often ran during the middle segments. I fought the urge. I allowed myself to ease my pace, but I compelled myself to stay ahead of my slogging death jog. Then, the most amazing thing happened.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm very attuned to music. I love going to concerts and listening to the blended sounds, whether classical or rock, jazz or choral. I love straining to hear specific instruments. When a musical piece is done well, I become like a boat floating on its waves, rising and falling with each theme, pushed and pulled with each current, slowed in the flats, and exhilarated by the crashing of the waves over my bow. It's been a long time since I've simply sat and listened to U2, one of the groups that was a hiding place for my during my tumultuous late teen years, so as the next song began, "Where the Streets Have No Name", I felt a surge of warm emotion wash over me. With this surge, I found myself again stronger and faster, and ready to finish our course.

The opening guitar licks begin ever so faintly. In fact, they began so softly that it seemed as if the gap between the last song and this one was too long, and I feared that I did not add the final song. As I began to hear the notes ring out, the flood began. Then joined the bass and the drums, solidifying the steady beat. The gradual crescendo continued as the introduction gave way to the start of the song proper: "I want to run..." and I was running.

I kept up my increased pace to the end of the trail where we began our run. Honestly, I don't remember whether Mrs. F was next to me, in front of me, or behind me at that point. I was running, and all I could hear was the music. The song finished as we approached the end (yes, she may have been in front of me here), and I continued the final running paces to the road. We ran two miles in just over 28 minutes! That's just over 14 minutes per mile. That's no cross country pace, but for a fat man on the trail to a healthier life, it sure felt good!

Our cool-down walk had one of my favorite classical compositions playing, "Concerning Hobbits" from the Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring Soundtrack. If you've seen the movie, it's the piece that plays at the beginning of the movie when Galdalf is riding into the Shire and he is joined by Frodo. It's absolutely beautiful! Mrs F and I chatted a bit as we walked back toward the car, and the distance just seemed to fly by. We both realized that we had completed two miles in just over 28 minutes, and we were both impressed. Sure, it doesn's match Mrs. F's 12-minute mile pace from her extra run (3.3 miles over 40 minutes is just over 12:07 per mile), but she did great considering she just did over 5k yesterday!

As for me, I'm giddy. I'm in a bit of shock. I just ran two miles without walking, and I did it at a sub-15 pace. I could not have imagined that! I just never thought it would be possible.

After getting home, I rested for a bit, then got up, showered, dressed, and ate breakfast. My clothes are fitting so much better. My size 44 pants are comfortably loose now, requiring a belt just to keep them on. My 42s are in the rotation, having been a size I have not worn since before Mrs. F and I wed 16 years ago. My XXXL shirts are now too large, and my XXLs are loose. I might not get down into an XL shirt for a while, because I need to trim down my top a bit more. I was reading about a "100 Push-ups Challenge" the other day--think of it as a Couch-to-5k program for push-ups. I wonder if I might be able to convince Mrs. F to try that one... After all, I did agree to try this crazy running program!

That's it! We're in Week 8! I remember when I was desperate to reach the half-way point and was disappointed when I called it a week earlier than it was. Wow! We have come so far. Today was the first time my run felt good in a week--not the "runner's high" type of good, but just an overall good feeling to the run. I was pleased with my pace, my stride, and my lack of pain. Today, for the first time in a couple of weeks, I finally feel like I may actually be able to complete that Turkey Trot in November. I needed a day like this one.

Good running, all!

Day 49 - "Extra workout" - Mrs. F

It was really nice out, upper 40's to 50's. So I decided I was going to go for it. Orginally I had on a teeshirt layer which I ditched before I even hit the car. I could tell it was plenty warm. So I wore my warmwear(and i might have been able to ditch that too) and my yoga capri pants on bottom and my moisture wicking shirt with my windbreaker on top.

I parked the car a couple of blocks away from the trail, so I could do my warm up walk before i hit the trail. I really wanted an accurate idea of my mileage. I ran the first mile in 11 minutes. Probably a bit too fast as I got a sideache after the first 7/10th. That plagued off and on for the next mile or so. The next segment of trail was .66, so I set my goal for 7 and a half minutes. I was pleased that I did make that!!! It took everything I had though, so at the end of that segment, I allowed myself 30 seconds to walk. Then I began running again slowly. My body doesnt listen very well though. I set a goal of 10 minutes for the repeat .66 mile segment and completed it in 8 1/2 minutes. So I ran about 2.33 or so in 27 minutes.

Maybe cause Im stubborn or maybe cause I really wanted to see what my body could do. I kept running. I felt okay, so I allowed myself to go for it. After the 8 1/2 minute segment, I walked for 10 seconds(thinking I was going to do another 30 second walk) but I found myself ready to run at the start of our regular trail. I found the next half mile the easiest of all my running today. Im not sure if its that Im most familar with this segment of trail or that my body found its groove. The last half mile was hard though! This is where my stubborness comes into play. I was going to finish this or die trying lol. I slowed down some but I was determined to complete the whole 3.3 miles I had mapped out. The last mile I completed in 12 minutes!!!!

So all in all, with my 40 seconds(rounded up to a minute lol), I did 3.3 miles in 40 minutes. Not bad at all! Im excited now for the race. Although I suspect the race will have hills, so it will be harder.

Afterwords, I wasnt really in much pain. I noticed the bone on the side of my leg, right above the ankle, on both feet, being sore like shin splints. But that has eased up. Now since Ive been back home, my hips and quads are sore. But nothing too terrible. Don't remind me tommorrow, when tommorrows workout is hard, that this was my brilliant idea.

Keep on running,
Mrs. F

Day 49 - Mrs. F

We are mostly well here but just enough lingering fevers and illness that we will stay home from church for one more week. Its kinda of a frustrating place to be, not well enough to all go out but not sick enough to be out for the count. So everyone is just restless.

I really have this desire to sneak an extra workout in on my own. I want to see how far I can get on my own. Then i have a better idea of how far I need to increase to do my race. I thought briefly bout going this morning but when i checked the temp, it was 36. Too cold for an "extra" workout when its supposed to be near 60 later today. So I may sneak out later and get a run in.

I debate back and forth about whether this is wise to add an "extra" one in. AFter all, I have to run 28 minutes tommorrow. Then again, one more workout gives me one more time to practice building up endurance. Decisions, Decisions.

Right now the laundry is speaking to me and trust me folks, that is not good!

Keep on running,
Mrs. F

Day 48 (week 7) - not much rest today

Today started with a noble idea: getting up early and getting our household shopping out of the way before we lost most of the day. Unfortunately, between taking the time to plan our menu and Mrs. F's efforts to ready some of the kids to come with us, it was past 9:30 AM before we headed out. It became a long day. By the time we got home, it was time to start prepping dinner. As of this writing, the little ones have been fed, but the rest of us have about another 20 minutes before dinner is ready.

We're trying to buy better foods, especially more veggies. We're going to try replacing mashed potatoes with mashed cauliflower, but cauliflower heads are currently $3.50 each. The cost of mashed cauliflower cannot compare with the cost of mashed potatoes. That's just one example. Eating healthier just costs more than gobs of potatoes and pasta.

For us, that's going to be one of the biggest challenges. Mrs. F and I pride ourselves at being quite thrifty--we make a lot from scratch--but budget dollars are a major limitation for us. We've already trimmed the fat from our budget, so we have few options to help us buy the foods that will help us trim the fat from our waists.

My knee held out pretty well today. It still is a bit achy, though. Checking just a few moments ago, I'm running a low grade fever and I have sore throat. So much for isolating the sick ones to keep the rest of us healthy.

Anyway, I need to go and check the oven. Have a good night, all.

Day 48- Mrs. F

I woke up feeling okay. Muscles a tad bit sore but overall they felt fine. I had a day of errands to do, so my fleeting thought of an extra workout today was gone.

I ended up out a good bit of the day-- shopping for our household. I noticed this evening now that my right knee feels funky. It hurts a little bit on the inside of the knee. Im hoping it just needs some rest, so Ill take it easy tommorrow.

Keep on running
Mrs. F

Day 47 - back from the doctor

Well, the visit to the sports medicine doctor was helpful, even if the prognosis wasn't entirely black and white. She doesn't like the range of motion (the lack thereof) I have in my hips. She feels that the most likely cause of my pain is a weakness in the muscles that help keep the knee cap tracking properly. Years of walking with my legs splayed wide made my glutes stronger than the balancing muscles, and that is the likely cause of the pain. She dismissed cartilege issues as being a possibility, becuase she noted that the pain is actually above the joint line.

So, what do sports medicine doctors prescribe most often? Therapy...and a specific knee brace. Yes, I'll need to get in to two therapy sessions a week. We'll start with a gait analysis, and then move into flexibility and strengthening exercises. If that doesn't help moderate the pain over the next few weeks, then we'll consider an MRI. This is a knee I injured 23+/- years ago, and I had orthroscopic surgery on it at that time. If it was actually clicking or locking while I was running, she'd push for the MRI now. We both agreed that we can cross that bridge if the therapy does not help.

My new knee brace will be a patellar stabilizer. She wants to keep the patella (knee cap) from sliding too far to the outside. I say "will be" because the largest one they had in the little clinic I visited today was too small. When they visit their main clinic on Monday, they'll drop one in the mail for me. I'm going to ice and rest my knee over the weekend, and I plan to run on Monday with my double wrap in place. I'm relieved that she didn't put any restrictions on my training.

So, that news was good, and I'm pleased to have lost a few more pounds this week. Now if I could only do something about our uber-screaming, furniture-climbing, fast-walking infant!

Friday weight check (week 7)

FatManRunning
Last Friday: 286.5

Today: 283.3

Gain/Loss: -3.2

Goal: 210.0 lbs.

Cumulative loss: 17.1 lbs.

Pounds to lose: 73.2

Comment: I really didn't expect to lose much this week. I had a couple of bad meals (i.e., my portions were too large or I had seconds), and I snacked a little heavy on some days. I'm glad to see the progress, though. I guess when you are as big as I am, every little bit of exercise burns more calories.

Mrs. F
Last Friday: 176.3

Today: 179.2

Gain/Loss: +2.9

Goal: 150.00

Cumulative loss: 3.6 lbs.

Pounds to lose: 29.2

Comment: I skipped a lot of meals. Who'd think that would cause me to gain weight? I probably have some extra water weight right now, too (ladies, you'll undertsand).

Day 47 Week 7, Day 5 -- Mrs. F

I thought it was going to be a good relatively easy run today -- NOT! I got extra sleep since we were running later. The weather was warmer and it was a fairly nice day out. I felt good and ready to run. I was not prepared for how hard and miserable todays run would be.

I really cannot pinpoint any specific factor that gave me aha, thats why it was hard today. I did do some extra exercise yesterday ( I biked 5.8 miles yesterday) but I didnt seem sore or overtired by that. It wasnt overly cold, temps in the low 40s, not bad at all. I went to bed around 10 and got up 745. My baby was only up once, so not a bad night of sleep either. ITs sorta puzzling to me.

It just was hard. I took my sons watch with me today and that made it harder in some regards. I forced myself to not look at it for the first time until I reached the trail end to turn around. So i ran 1/2 mile to 7/10 of a mile in around 7 minutes. Not too shabby! I really felt like I was slogging thru it all. Just had to keep myself moving. At one point when I had turned back with Mr. F and hit the trail end again, I found myself walking 3 steps. AACK! I had to quickly get myself moving again. I had slowed down to be with Mr. F at his pace and my body responds with okay if you are going too slow, might as well walk.

Mr. F was particularly struggling today so I made some extra efforts to double back and encourage him. I noticed that as I turned running back to him, his pace quickened and he was moving a bit faster then.

The watch was helpful in the latter half of the run. It was more encouraging to see the halfway point and to look and figure out that I had 8 or 5 minutes left.

My breathing was okay today but I was running a much slower pace. I had no energy at the end to sprint with Mr. F . So I just continued on my slow and steady pace and finished up the workout. I felt okay in the last five minutes and the end but it wasnt until that point that any of the running felt good at all. I was thinking today and I thought I "liked" running, who am I kidding?

I am encourage though that Mr. F and I did it! We completed 7 weeks of running and that is no small feat. In the last 8 days we have done 100 minutes of running -- who knew we could do this? Im still amazed that I can run 25 minutes straight, miserable or not~!

Keep on running
Mrs. F

Day 47 (week 7) - a dreadful run

Since the kids are out of school and I have the day off from work, we decided to sleep in a bit and headed out for our run at about 8:15 AM. For me, it was a miserable run.

Getting out of bed and walking through the house, my knee felt mostly okay. I took extra time wrapping it today, being sure to make sure the wrap layers criss-crossed in front of my knee, to help minimize any rotation. I finished dressing, did some stretching, and headed out.

We were already on the trail before I realized that I hadn't started the podcast, so I got it going and noted that we'd be walking a bit further than on a normal day. Other than feeling dead tired and not wanting to run, the first part of the run was not too bad. My legs definately did not want to be up and running, but I reminded myself that more seasoned runners report that the first ten minutes are often miserable. My left knee was feeling okay. I could tell it was more agitated than it had been coming into the week, but I figured it wouldn't be too bad. Unfortunately, I figured wrong today.

My breathing was a bit more labored in the beginning, and it did not seem to settle into a rhythm until about eight minutes in. This is the first day I've had to pay attention to my breathing in a while, and it didn't make me feel more confident about today's run. While my breathing settled down, my fatigue level seemed to increase. I felt pretty good about my pace for the first third of our distance--I almost kept Mrs. F in sight through our turnaround point. As she circled back to meet me, I remember telling her, "I feel dead."

I had really wanted to stop during the first five minutes, but I managed to keep going. Now, as I reached our turnaround point, I found my internal dialogue saying, "Don't stop now. Just get to the half-way point." I kept going.

When I got to the half-way point, my knee was really starting to bother me, and it was affecting my stride. I so much wanted to stop and walk, knowing that I was already thinking about a sports medicine appointment, but my blasted stubbornness would not let me walk. Oh, how I wanted to walk!

Mrs. F circled back a few more times, but I don't really remember them clearly. I was struggling so much just to keep moving, that I could not pay attention that much. Afterwards, she said that she could see me speed up as she approached. I do know that her presence helps me feel like I can make it.

As the moments dragged on, my pace slowed. I watched Mrs. F's footfalls and shortened my stride to match her pacing. That helped for a bit. I tried running more on the fronts of my feet, as I would in a sprint. That definately felt better on my knee, but I could not maintain that for very long. I noticed that my right foot was rolling through each stride, but that my left was landing mostly flat and did not seem to be flexing much at all. It felt like I was trying to run with a peg leg.

At some points, my feet were barely leaving the ground. I could tell because they were scraping the trail as I moved them forward. I so wanted to walk. At one point, I just wanted to let me legs go and I wanted to collapse right on the trail. With everything I had, I concentrated on making sure I was landing with only one foot on the ground. I did not want to walk. I did not want to jog. I wanted to run. I don't know if I was successful at all times, but I have to believe that I was running, no matter how slowly, or how poor my form.

I was about 10m short of the road when the final minute was called--about 10m short of where we were on Wednesday at the same time. Even though I was miserable, I pushed myself to go faster. I abandoned my shorter stride and was determined to ignore my knee, even though I know that doing so could be really bad news. Yet, the faster I went, the better my legs felt. As I reached my sprint, I was at the end of my strength, but I kept going. I wasn't going to end this thing limping to our car. I wasn't going to fall down on the trail. I was going to finish this thing at a full-blow, all-stops-pulled run, and that's what I did. I'm nothing if not stubborn, but, for once, I was going to use that stubbornness to help me rather than to hold me back.

I've had a lot of history of not finishing things. Most often, they were times when I bit off more than I could chew, but I could not see that at the time. All I knew then was that things would get to be too much, and I would just walk away. After years of doing that, it became an unwritten script in my head. I began to expect that I would not finish things. Other than my marriage, which has been going strong for 16+ years (thank God), my mind is full of memories of things I failed to finish. My mind keeps trying to tell me that this will be just another one of those things, and I'm desperate to disprove that internal dialogue! If I'm deliberate in thinking on my past, I can find many things I carried through and finished, but those are not the memories that cloud my mind. The failures--those are the things that have embedded themselves in my thinking. They've shaped how I see myself, and I often fear I'll never be able to get away from them.

In the running discussions I've been frequenting, I've read so many others encouraging people to take a break, or repeat a week as needed. I've resisted that. I think it's because I fear failing--I fear not finishing this program. Yet, in the better parts of my mind, I know that it is not a failure that dictates who we are--it is whether we are willing to get up and try again. Perhaps my biggest fear is not that I will not finish, but that, should I not finish, that I would not have the strength to get up and try again.

This has been a very hard morning for me. I don't know how I can go on, but I must. I keep telling myself that I don't have a choice, but I do. I really do have a choice. I just keep saying that "I don't have a choice" because I'm afraid I won't make the right one. If I take away my choice, I take away failure as being an option. At least, that's the way my twisted mind works right now. I don't have a choice but to give myself no choice.

Do you know how much I want a Ho-Ho (or three) right now?

Day 46 - late entry - the bad knee

Well, I picked up my textbooks. When I got back home and went to sit down in my chair, my jeans gripped a bit as I bent to sit, and I got a flash of pain in the knee. I'm going to see what it's like in the morning, but am pretty sure I'm going to try to see the sports medicine practitioner at the local clinic tomorrow, if they have any same day openings.

I've been doing a bit more reading on running (mostly links from coolrunning.com), and some reading on running-related injuries. I could not pigeonhole my particular symptom, but I did note many admonitions for new runners not to ignore pain--something seasoned marathon runners and other endurance runners often mention that they do. Those endurance runners can do it because they are more attuned to themselves, and are already working with their bodies in good condition. Someone like myself, on the other hand, a newbie, shouldn't risk it.

Mrs. F asked if I wanted to postpone our run to Saturday. My preference is to still give it a try tomorrow, so long as the knee is feeling pretty good when I get up and when wrapped. If anything, we might postpone until later in the day. I already know that we won't be out until closer to 7:30 AM, since there's no time press to get the kids off to school or me to work in the morning.

Aside from NSAIDs (like Ibuprofen), ice, and rest, what else can help a sore knee? Or does the answer really depend on the specific nature of the problem (e.g., tendinitis, worn cartilage)?

Day 46 (week 7) - drained

I had requested today and tomorrow off, coinciding with a couple of days off in our school system. Originally, I had plans for these days, but circumstances changed. While it started out as a nice, slow morning (even though I had to tie up some loose ends at work), I gradually developed a headache that just won't let go, and I'm finding myself with very little energy. I'm feeling drained. I'm hoping this is not the beginning of a cold--or worse.

Our eldest son came down with a fever last night. It's low grade, but has been rising. He's spent most of the day in his room, and we made him eat his meals apart from us, to keep from sharing. Our boy who was sick most of this week is finally well, and the other two who were showing some symptoms seem to be okay. Once something gets into the house, it usually makes the rounds. We're just working really hard to keep that from being the case this time.

My knee is sore again today. It's as if I pushed back the clock and am back where it was starting to get tolerable again. I'll double-wrap it in the morning. Mrs. F took a bike ride this afternoon and checked the distance on our primary segment of trail. Sure enough, it's a one mile segment, so we end up covering 2 miles with the return trip. She's also done some scouting ahead. If we also utilize the segment of trail we left when it got too dark, we'd have a 3.4 mile route, end to end. That would give us some room for a warm-up walk and yet leave us 5,000m for our runs. I'm sure it will be a while before we get to that level of endurance, but the day will come.

Right now, we're both scratching our heads about dinner, since the day slipped away. I need to sneak out and buy some graduate textbooks tonight, as I'm back in class again as of Monday. Otherwise, I hope to get to bed early and get some rest. I'm going to get up now, take some Sudafed to clear my sinuses, and some Ibuprofen for my headache. We'll see what the morning brings.

Day 46- Mrs. F

I have no persisting injuries to report -- woohoo!~

Im pretty sure though that the scale will not be kind to me tommorrow. I feel bigger and the at home scale has not been kind either. Sigh ... I really need to be more diligent in eating every meal. Too often I skip breakfast in lieu of coffee. If my typical fare for breakfast isnt available, Ill skip more often than eat something Im not fond of.

I have this crazy desire to get out and run today on the rest day. I think Im going to answer that with a short bike ride. I want to measure our route that we are running anyway and my bike computer will measure the distance.

I had some yummy salad for lunch full of lots of veggies. We watched the biggest loser and Mr. F said he couldnt quite buy mac/cheese and hot dogs after watching that! I wish the healthy good food wasnt so pricey!

Keep on running,
Mrs. F

Day 45 (Week 7, Day 3) - Mrs. F

Despite feeling down and tired earlier, I was ready to run this afternoon. It was a bit challenging trying to figure out how to cook dinner and workout and all the fun that accompanies all that. I started cutting potatoes, not knowing exactly what time Mr. F would get home. I figured that even if I didnt have time to cook before our workout, at least the prepwork would be done.

When I checked the temp earlier in the day, it said 41 degrees with 34 degree windchill temp. I was expecting it to feel much colder than it did. Mondays workout, I almost felt too hot with my layering, so I went with one less layer today. I elected to ditch the 3/4 quarter sleeve cotton shirt. That worked out great, I was plenty warm and not too chilled in the beginning.

I tend to walk slower than Mr. F for our warmup walk. I figure its okay, since I speed up my pace when I run. So I trailed behind him a bit as we started. I started out with a stocking cap and leather gloves. It wasnt more than 3 or 4 minutes that I ditched the gloves. The hat quickly followed.

The beginning and middle of the run felt great! I had a little pain going down my right leg. It disapeared about as quickly as it appeared. At points I could just feel the difference in my stride. My feet hit the ground lighter as I was able to speed up the pace. Other times I definitely felt the slog of the run. My feet felt heavy and like I was shuffling the leaves along the trail. I reached the end of the trail, turned around and met mr F again. I then reran the way to the end of the trail and took the street to a side path and ran back to our orginal trail. This allowed Mr. F to get further along on the trail before I caught up to him again.

I had attempted to borrow a watch from my son and promptly left it in the car. I wanted it with to give me a better idea of how to pace myself. Its hard when you hit that wall, not knowing then how much time you have left.I suppose it could be worse too, if you check the watch and find you have 24 of the 25 minutes left -- lol!

The end of the run, roughly about the last 8 or 10 minutes were hard. I started developing a minor sideache in the right, thus my pace slowed. And as I slowed, it increased my desire to walk. I did keep plugging away but the mental battle was much harder at that point. I tried to concentrate on taking slow deep breaths( kinda impossible when you are already breathing hard). The side ache would come and go as I tried to work my way thru the trail. As I neared a corner in our trail, I heard Mr. F whistle. So I turned around and ran back to him at that point. So we were running together for a little while. I pulled ahead and tried to find my stride again. Once I reached our beginning point of the trail and turned around and headed back to Mr. F .

I should know by this point that I cant do things as Mr. F does. Today reminded me of the time in college when I tried to study as Mr. F does. He can just go to class and listen and get A's on the tests. Well to make a long story short, it didnt work and I majorly failed. I learned the hard way, that I need to actually study! Well today I tried to sprint with Mr. F during the last minute. He has a wicked fast sprint!!! I may run faster during the workout but I cannot keep up with him during the last minute sprint. I did try today and kept pace with him for 20 seconds and then I thought I might just die right there on the trail. I forced myself to keep running but my side was killing me and I could barely breathe! I can speed up at the end. I tend to be more strong and steady and slowly increasing my pace rather than a major jump in speed to a sprint. This is good to know about oneself.

No problems with shin splints as I thought might be starting last time. Leg muscles are sore as are my shoulders and arms. They are sore like I just had a good workout, kind of sore.

I am still amazed that I can run for 25 minutes and that I made it thru 7 weeks of this!

Keep on running
Mrs. F

Day 45 (week 7) - evening run

It has been one crazy evening! I got off work about 4:30 PM, an hour later than I had hoped. Getting home, I took in the quick news from the home front, including the updates on the sick ones, got changed, and managed to get out the door at just about 5 PM.

After our run, we stopped at the local grocery store and grabbed a couple of items, only to realize that neither of us had our cards with us (I only carry my license when I run). As we headed out the door, we realized that we needed to get our eldest son to the area high school for pep band. So, I dropped Mrs. F. at home, drove our son to the high school. When he came out to the car, he had my wallet with him, so I headed back to the grocery store after dropping him off. I picked up the items we set aside on our earlier visit, grabbed some bags of softener salt, and headed home.

As soon as I got through the door, Mrs. F informed me that our eldest son had called--pep band had been cancelled. So, back into the car I went; back to the local high school where I picked up our son and took him home. When I got home, I set about trying to unclog the kitchen sink, and I took over finishing off supper. With everything going on around here, I'm just amazed that we get out and run at all, morning or evening.

Okay, now that I got today's melodrama out of the way, let me get to reviewing today's run. It seems that the afternoon runs have been a little easier, at least as far as my legs being ready for them. Perhaps it's being more awake, or just the fact that I've been up and moving and that my body is warm. Even so, the first eight or so minutes of the run were hard. Almost immediately upon setting out I was fighting my internal dialogue that just wanted me to take a pass and go home. After all, I had already put in a full day of work... If you've ever tried to do something really hard, or something after a busy day, you probably know how that internal dialogue progresses.

So, I managed to tell that other part of me to "Sit on it!" and I kept going. I wrapped my leg a little differently today, since it had been bothering me less, and it seemed to be adequate when we began. Right off the bat, I was much happier with my pace today. Mrs. F was still able to pull ahead of me, but I didn't feel like I was fighting just to move at a decent pace, at least at the onset.

The first eight minutes were probably the hardest of the day, at least as far as the mental battle is concerned. After about the eight minute mark (I was listening to the podcast, so the time is just a guess--it might have been a little earlier or a little later), it was still hard, but it felt better. It was the one stretch where I got to relax a bit, mentally and perhaps physically. I remember looking to the lake, at the leaves on the ground, and at the trail ahead of me. Mrs. F was now way ahead, but it didn't bother me so much right then--I was running and all was good with the world.

We were back to our regular segment of trail today, so I was excited that I got to the far end and a good distance back before I heard the half-way point announced. It felt much more like last Friday (W6D3). Mrs. F had turned around and looped back to me once, and when we reached the end of the trail she took off to the side to make a loop through the park while I turned around and started back.

The half-way point came and went. I could tell it was getting a bit harder, and my left knee was starting to hurt, but I was still feeling pretty good.

Over the next few minutes, I really started to feel fatigue in my legs and my left really started to give me some grief. I concetrated on my stride. I was able to do a little to minimize the strain, but it was simply clear that the way I wrapped it was woefuly inadequate. I soon found myself fighting not to slip into that limping jog I had experienced two weeks ago. My pace slowed even more. I whistled and waved to Mrs. F so that she would loop back again. We were getting close to the point in the trail where I typically lose sight of her on the return, and that's a point that is always tough for me.

Her presence helped, but I was slogging so much that I was barely lifting my feet as I lurched forward in each stride. I asked her if I was even still running--it's almost as if my feet wanted to switch to walking, but my legs kept pushing them too far ahead--and she said that I was. I concentrated on lifting my feet more, and I forced myself to kick my heels further back. My pace improved slightly. I knew that our starting end of the trail would soon appear. While I was amazed that I had gone so far without hearing the final minute warning (we did not double back together today as we had done on Friday), I was also getting desperate to hear that final minute announcement.

It came right as we hit our starting point. Mrs. F was only a few steps ahead of me here, and we both quickened our pace a bit. After counting out approximately 15 seconds in my head, I pushed into a sprint--not as fast or free as the one I experienced on Monday, but a sprint all the same. I was tyring to hold a bit back, because I wanted to finish the last minute without slowing down. I picked a spot on the trail ahead of me and made it my finish line. As I reached it, there was no announcement, so I picked another spot ahead of me, and tried to push even more. As I reached it, the announcement came, my arms shot into the air, and I annouced the end to Mrs. F.

I knew I had pulled ahead of her, but I did not realize by how much until I turned around. She was, perhaps 10-15 meters behind me, her hand on her side, obviously from a side ache. I had pulled ahead of her, and I had finished the final minute in a sprint!

Our cool-down walk was slightly abbreviated, because we got back to our car before the time was up, but we were both happy with having finished another 25 minute run. As we began our drive home, we realized that we had run more than 75 minutes in less than a week (Friday through Wednesday)! That's just so amazing!

Because of the sickness going through the house and some other considerations, my plans for the weekend were cancelled. That means Mrs. F and I will be running together again on Friday morning. Since I will have the day off, we're planning to go out about an hour later, perhaps 6:30 AM, to benefit from the pending sunrise. I'll be back to wrapping my knee the other way, and I'm just glad I didn't seem to make it much worse (in how it feels now, a few hours later) with what I tried today.

I may never be able to run a seven minute mile, but I'm out there, being active, and working to lose a lot of weight. I hope that running becomes easier as my weight does go down, but I also hope that I'll have the perseverance required to get me that far. Weight check will be Friday morning, and I'm hoping to see a fair loss (perhaps a couple of pounds).

Well, that's it for now. We're going to sit down together and watch Heroes, and then, perhaps a little Eureka. Apart from that, I have a date with an ice pack and perhaps a cool bath.

A down day - Mrs. F

I'm feeling rather down today. Im not sure if its that I havent worked out yet, lack of sleep or stresses of life. Most likely, a comibination of all the factors is the culprit.

At around 2 am, we had a hamster cagebreak. So we were looking for some baby hamsters and the momma. Thankfully by morning, all but one have been found. That definitely impacted my sleep though.

And a busy plate of activities for yesterday has left me drained as well.

Im hoping todays workout will perk up my mood and encourage my spirits some.

Keep on running
Mrs. F

Day 45 - morning (pre-workout)

As noted last night, we'll be running late today. I'm just taking a moment to post a bit of news on the clothing front. This morning, I grabbed a pair of trousers I picked up a couple of years ago that didn't fit me at the time. I found them at a bargain price, and grabbed them thinking that I could use them as motivation toward losing some weight. Well, as time has shown, they did not serve to be much of a motivation. The size of those pants: 42.

When I started this program, I could comfortably wear pants with a 46" waist. I could wear some 44s below my belly, on my hips, but they were not very comfortable. Today, I looked at the tag in those trousers and said, "What the heck." After all, I noted that they had a stretchy expansion panel on the side. The worst that could happen was that I would need to grab another pair of pants, and that my hopes would have been diminished.

As it turns out, the pants slid on without any trouble. There was no binding in the legs, the seat felt fine, and the clasp closed on my waist. I checked the expansion panels. To my surprise, the were pulling a bit but still had plenty of give. I really have dropped 4" from my waist!

Feeling good about the trousers, I reached in and grabbed a mock turtleneck that I typically only wear under a sweater. I pulled it on and noticed that it actually hung off my shoulders and was not stretched tight around my chest and abdomen. What a feeling!

So, I'm headed off to work in my "new" outfit. I'm longing for the day when I'll be able to wear trousers in the 30s again (even 38 would be fine), because that means I'll finally be able to go into any store and be able to find my size in just about every style. That will be a grand day.

So, for now, it's off to work and then on to running this afternoon. I think I'm going to have a little extra spring in my step today.

Day 44 - update and plans for Day 45

Our flu-stricken son won't be getting any medications. He was sent home with typical instructions of rest and fluids, despite the risk to our special needs child (not to mention the fact that our clinic sent us there specifically so he could get treated with Tamiflu). Well, we'll do the best we can with what we have.

I also need to be in to work early (i.e., before 7 AM) tomorrow, so we are postponing our Wednesday run until later in the day--likely sometime in the evening after our eldest son returns from cross country practice, since our eldest daughter is going on a trip with one of her friends.

There was good news on the cross country front: our eldest son qualified as an all-conference runner by placing in the top ten runners at tonight's conference meet. What was really exciting, however, was that two of his teammates (the same ones with which he had a near photo finish at an earlier meet) also placed in the top ten. The team did a fantastic job, and ranked as the second place team in the conference. Some of the boys were disappointed, however, because they missed taking the first place spot by two points! Had any two of their first five runners (the ones used for scoring) moved ahead just one position (or had one runner moved up two positions), they would have been the first place team. I'm pretty sure the guys who will be back next year will remember that lesson. Even so, they all ran a great race!

Day 44 (week 7) - dull ache and family illness

It's still hard to believe we're in Week 7. Overall, I feel pretty good, other than my left knee. It has gone from being something that pained me when walking, rising, or sitting to being a steady, dull ache.

That's not the main issue in the house, today, however. We had one boy come down with mild cold or flu symptoms last week, and he has fully recovered. Another son, however, started to get ill on Sunday and has steadily gotten worse. His fever has topped 103°F, has no appetite, and is lethargic. We called the local clinic, but they referred us to the emergency room. Mrs. F is headed there with him now. She's also taking along our special needs toddler, who just started developing a fever, but has a history of going from healthy to extremely ill in a matter of hours. We're hoping that both will be given Tamiflu, but we have no guarantees.

If kids are still sick as we approach Thursday, I will cancel my plans for the weekend. That may allow Mrs. F and me to run together on Friday, but even that will depend on how well everyone is around here.

Day 44 - Mrs. F

I'm feeling pretty drained today. I really hope Im not getting sick. A couple of the kids are down with fevers and flu-like symptoms.

Body is doing okay, although my lower back is giving me trouble this morning. Muscles feel okay and the shin split on the left leg feels fine right now.

Its harder for me to get excited to run in the cold weather. I really dont enjoy being cold. Its harder to get moving and going, even though I know once IM running, ill feel warm.

I am still on the hunt for a treadmill. The plan is to run outside as long as possible until the snow/ice/weather forces us indoors. Then, we are hoping to have found a treadmill that will be able to continue our workouts.

It was exciting yesterday to go into our local pharmacy and talk with our pharmacist. She is doing the couch to 5k, after being inspired by our doing this as well as another worker there. I love seeing the effects stretching far beyond our circle of people! I am still amazed that indeed in 7 weeks, I can run 25 minutes.

Looking forward to my sons conference meet this evening. I changed my bet to him, that if he beats his personal best (18:55) I will run 2 minutes with him. And if he beats it by 30 seconds or more, I will run 5!

Keep on running
Mrs. F

Day 43 Week 7 Day 1 (Mrs. F)

I was tired, it was cold, it was snowing and I did not want to get up and run today. In the past, days like today would have been the ones where I put it off until another day. And then keep putting it off until the habit was firmly dead. Im pleased to say with Mr. F's help, I did not put off todays run!

I could feel the effects of too little sleep and too much junk food from this weekend. So it was hard to start and hard to get moving. For the first five minutes, the desire to walk was really really strong! It took every once of willpower I had to not walk and to deliberatly up my pace. If I run too slowly, it increases my desire to walk. So I need to be at a reasonable pace. And Im not running very fast by far but I need to be moving.This morning, I just didnt have the energy to get moving.

Slowly I increased my pace and the run was better. Still hard but better. Mr. F's announcement that we were more than halfway really surprised me. The first part had drug on so slowly that I figured I had tons of running yet to do.

I spent some time doubling back, per Mr. F's request. I would run ahead of him aways and then turn around, run back toward him and when I reached him, turn back the direction he was going. So I may have covered a bit more distance this way and it encouraged Mr. F -- a win win.

When Mr. F announced the last minute, I was super surprised. Since we had started further along the trail, we were nowhere near the same distance point we normally are at this juncture. So I sped up steadily. Mr. F whizzed on by me (he has a wicked sprint) and then slowed down again. So since i had kept my increased pace steady I was able to finish ahead of him still.

All in all a good run. I have a bit of shin splints starting on my left leg and my muscles are sore. But Im just going to try and take it easy on the rest days and let my body recooperate.

Keep on running
Mrs. F

Day 43 (week 7) - 25 minutes midst downy flake

Well, it's not as if I can claim that today was my first 25 minute run, since that's what we did last Friday. We can, however, note that it was our first run in the snow. We have a full winter weather advisory in effect here, and are likely to have up to 4" by the end of the day. It started snowing during the pre-dawn hours, and by the time we hit the trail, there was already an inch or more on the grassy areas and on some parts of the trail.

This was also my first morning out in my new moisture-wicking polyester and spandex leggings. Isn't it amazing that a fabric tht was so maligned during the 1970s, polyester, has become a primary component in many modern tech-friendly garments? Even more amazing was that I was able to buy a men's XL garment rather than an XXL one, and that's the first time I've been able to do that in about 14 years!

In the aftermath of the morning run, I feel pretty good. The run itself, however, was difficult for me. The shock of the cold during the first few moments was hard to overcome, and I just could not muster the same sustained pace as I had on Friday. For some reason, when we arrived at the trailhead, I was thinking that we were increasing our run time, so we started our warm-up walk headed the other direction down the trail. When it ended, we reversed directions and began our run.

As has been the case on these longer runs, Mrs. F spent most of the time well ahead of me. Only during the first five minutes or so, while she was warming up, was I able to keep pace with her. My double-wrapped knee held out pretty well until near the end, but I'll touch on that in a bit.

Running in the snow presented some challenges. As someone who wears eyeglasses, the precipitation caused them to become unusable not long into the run. As the glasses cooled, and I exhaled into the low, cold breeze, my breath also fogged them up. I ended up taking them off and carrying them in my hand for the rest of the run.

The second challenge had to do with my feet. There was just enough of the wet, sticky snow on the trail for some of it to end up on the top of my shoes on the toe-end. Of course, some of it melted and got my feet wet. Thankfully, I was wearing the socks the folks at Asiscs sent me, and they seemed to wick away most of the moisture. My toes did not begin to feel really cold until after our run was done.

Even though going the other direction for our warm-up walk meant we ran back that distance before starting along our regular path, I could still tell that I covered much less ground. I was going at a very labored pace much earlier, and the half-way announcement came while I still had much trail left ahead of me. Pushing past the half-way point, the front of my left leg, just above my ankle started to cramp up a bit. I played with my pace and pushed on. It stayed like that until I caught sight of Mrs. F, who doubled back for me after reaching the end of this segment of trail. She did much doubling back this time at my request. I just have a much harder time continuing on when she is completely out of sight.

Although I knew I should probably turn around at that point, I was determined to make it to that end of the trail. I slogged on, eventually reaching it before turning back around. We were probably only half-way back along the trail when the final minute announcement came. Mrs. F was well-ahead of me again, but I wanted to finish strong. Whereas I felt exhausted just seconds before, I suddenly found myself flush with adrenaline. I sped up to a full sprint, feeling myself now running only on the balls of my feet and on my toes. I was surprised by how quickly I caught and overcame her, especially since she was pushing hard, too. I sprinted a distance ahead of her and then had second thoughts about being able to maintain the pace through the whole of the final minute. I slowed my pace again, and she soon came by me. Seconds later, the podcast announced the end of the run. I could have kicked myself. I was afraid I had most of that final minute left, when, in reality, I had sprinted for about 45 seconds. Perhaps next time I'll be able to finish that final minute in a full sprint. The feeling of the run while sprinting is so different from the rest of the run. It almost feels like flying.

As soon as we resumed walking, we realized how far we yet had to go to get back to our car. My decision to start going the other direction today cost us an extra five minutes of running during a cold morning snowfall. We quickly re-donned our hats, and Mrs. F put her gloves back on. I zipped my vest shut. Now that we had slowed, we would lose our heat more quickly. Now I noticed that the toes of my right foot were cold. As we continued along, they began to feel colder. At one point, to help shorten the time it would take us to get back to the car, I sped back to a run for a few moments, and the burst of activity helped me to feel warmer again. I could really feel how breathable the shoes really are, however, as those light, meshed surfaces quickly had me feeling the cold again.

I'm hoping that we get a bit of a thaw before Wednesday morning. If it stays cold, our tracks in the trail will freeze (along with any others who are out and about on it while it it still wet). Having frozen track on the trail would make it much more treacherous than just a coating of snow. I've done some looking at treadmills online, but we're still not sure if we want to take that plunge. Neither of us really likes the idea of running on the road, but that might be our only real option once winter really settles in.

Well, I need to get changed so I may bike to work. I'll soon need to swap my tires out for a set of studded ones I got for my birthday. I should be fine for today, however, as the snow is not sticking much to the roads right now.

Day 43 - Waking

Well, it's snowing right now. I have a few moment to type before I run this morning because my sugar levels were too low this morning--I was feeling hypoglycemic. I toasted a piece of bread and slathered some peanut butter on it, and took it down with some water. I'm hoping that bit in my stomach won't make for a tough run this morning.

I'll be back later to post after our run in the snow.

Day 42 - Getting ready for Week 7

I'll echo what Mrs. F wrote. While it was great to catch up with an old friend, I'm feeling the impact of shorter nights of rest, too. My left knee still hints at the trouble I had over the past couple of weeks, but it's not too bad. I'll still wrap it in the morning, just to play it safe.

The forecast for tonight and into the morning is actually for the first winter storm of the season. We're expecting up to 1"-2" of snow by morning, and perhaps 3" by the afternoon. We're still planning to run outside. I picked up a set of wicking compression leggings this afternoon, to help keep my legs warmer. I'm hoping that warmer legs will translate to a little less muscle strain as we run. Anyway, here is the plan for this week:

Week 7

• 5 minute warm-up walk
• 25 minute run

That's it. Basically, from here on out it's run, run, run.

Things are a little too crazy here for me to write any more right now. We'll see what the morning brings.

Day 42 (Mrs. F)

Im tired. Late nights with company in town are fast catching up to me. No real pain just some minor muscle aches. Im hoping to hit bed early tonite. Its really easy to increase your sleep debt and really hard to get caught back up!

I still cannot believe that I have completed 6 full weeks of this program. I hated running and now I find myself "wanting" to run. How crazy is that! I find myself telling anyone and everyone who will listen to my story. Im excited and i love sharing how this really has changed my outlook on running.

Its even more amazing to me that I have inspired others to start this journey. I couldnt even have dreamed of that occuring from something I started.

This will be the first week that Mr. F and I will be running apart on one day. He will be out of town on Friday, so we will both complete our workout on our own. The good part is its a timed run rather than intervals, so it shouldnt be hard to keep track of time with a borrowed watch. Although it just seems harder to accomplish on my own.

Week 7, here I come~
Keep on running,
Mrs. F

Day 41 (week 6) - Chain of events.

I'm glad today is a resting day. My legs don't feel too bad, even my troublesome left knee. I have a bit of muscle ache in the biceps behind my legs (biceps femorus if my memory of anatomical terms is correct), but that's just a good ache from using those muscles yesterday.

Mrs. F ran into someone we know from the pharmacy today while out picking up a few grocer items. She asked about our progress, and then told us that the pharacist started the Couch to 5k program this week. Others there were considering it, too. One of Mrs. F's hometown friends started after learning about our secret plan, and some of her other online friends are considering it, too. I have people at the office who have expressed an interest, because they can see the positive impact it has had on me. All of this because we started the program and told others about it, and we only started it because one of our friends in town had started it. As it turns out, her husband didn't start the program with her. He only started after he heard about our progress, and figured that if we can do it, then he can do it, too. I yet have a long way to go toward being fit and healthy, but it is just amazing to realize that our actions--our slow, struggling attempts to do this, have encouraged others to give it a try, too. Our efforts to be better stewards of our bodies and health have moved others to take action, too! That is a powerful lesson.

So, we're not alone in this by any means. Not only have we found a supporting community online, both here and at Active.com, but we've started to realize that we are now just links in a chain that is linking many lives together, a chain that represents a journey toward healthier living.

That, my friends, is a humbling thought.

Day 40 (week 6) - Two-thirds through!

Today was the final workout day of Week 6. I have mixed feelings about having postponed our run. I certainly did not want to do it this morning, but realized that I like the relative solitude of running the trail in the early morning hours. Also, I think that coming off a night's rest seems to leave me more prepared than trying to run after a full day at work, like I did today. That said, it was nice, however, that my muscles were already a bit more limber and warmed up from being active during the day. I guess there are benefits and drawbacks to running at any time of the day.

For today, at least, it was really nice to be running during the warmest part of the day. Forty-nine degrees may not seem warm to you, but it sure beat 25°F this morning. Since most of our trail lies on an east-west trail, I swapped my fleece had for a ball cap and grabbed my sunglasses. I figured it would be bright, with the sun low in the southwestern sky.

After noting how miserable my first set was on Wednesday, another runner told me that the first 10 or so minutes of any run may feel like that. Armed with that knowledge, I set out to begin today's run.

The pain in my knee had decreased to a dull ache, but I decided to wrap it anyway. I wraped it and pulled the brace on, just as I did on Wednesday. I did not stretch as much today, in part because I had already been up and was active, but also because I knew a friend was coming in from out of town and I felt hurried to get this workout done. The walk was okay. As we had driven over, I had noticed numerous people using the trail. I just hoped that none of our kids' classmates (or their parents) would see us and potentially expose our secret plan. The podcast announced the run--the only run of this day--and we began. We were to run for 25 minutes. I know we did 20 last Friday, but 25 just seemed like such a long time. From the onset, it was pretty clear to me that I would be running the full length of our segment of trail, from the point where we started walking, to the end at the park in town, and then back to where the car was parked--all without stopping or walking. That would be a big change. I've grown used to spots along the trail where we had transitioned during our intervals. Today, however, there would be no stopping.

That's not to say there would be no change of pace. I started out strong, but was sure to hold back a bit, so I would have energy to get me through to the end. Mrs. F began to pull ahead after the first minute or so, and she kept that lead the entire time, even circling back a couple of times to run along and past me again before moving on ahead again. That was fine. She had to run this at her pace, and I needed to run it at mine. Earlier, I felt a little discouraged by the thought--it even crossed my mind this evening--but I reminded myself that Marie is running 110 lbs lighter than am I, and that likely accounts for our difference in pacing.

The first portion was really tough. The same nagging self-doubts came to mind, and I found myself wanting to quit. "No one would blame you," the tried to tell me, "they'll know that you tried!" I really had to fight so as not to give in today. On the way out, we came up behind two walkers. I found myself wanting to slow to a walk, so as not to pass them. I'm not sure if it was embrassment about myself--someone of my size daring to run--or if it was that I did not want to embarass them by passing them. Mrs. F was ahead and went around with a smile and a wave. The walkers waved back. I, too, went around. Was it really possible that I was actually running fast enough that I had to pass someone? I guess so.

Before we got to the 10 minute mark, we had reached the end of the trail and we turned around. Mrs. F had already reached the end and had turned toward me, so when she got to where I was, she turned again and finished that segment with me before we both turned and she was off again. Confusing? Perhaps for the reader. For me, it was nice--a reminder that, though we could not run at the same speed, she was in this with me. In the first few moments of the return run, we passed by the walkers again, this time coming at them head-on. I can't be sure if it was a trick of my eyes, but it seemed as if the one lady smiled as we passed--almost as if she was glad to see us out there and working at it.

Mrs. F pulled further ahead on this stretch. By the time the half-way point was announced, she was well ahead. Soon, she was so far ahead that I could not see her, and it stayed that way until about five minutes from the end of the run. My pace had become dreadfully slow at some points. I almost slowed to walking, too, but kept pushing on. I swung my arms more deliberately and tried to pick up my feet more with each step. Suddenly, I might get 20m of a good boost, only to slow back down again. Another announcement told me that we had only about six minutes left. I wondered if Mrs. F had made it to the road and whether or not she crossed it.

Five minutes: now my body was ready to stop completely. I had to force myself just to continue slogging on. I was past the point where we started running now, so I knew the end of the trail was coming soon.

Approximately four minutes: I was relieved to see Mrs. F running towards me. She seemed to be moving at the same pace at which she started, and that seemed amazing to me. Knowing I would run to the end of the trail if I kept on ahead, I turned and ran back the other way as she caught up to me. Soon she was ahead again, but this time she pulled ahead much faster. When she reached the point whereabout we started our run originally, I called for her to turn again, and she reversed and headed toward me. As she neared, I turned as well.

A few more paces down the trail, and the final minute was announced. I pushed as hard as I could, but she still gained on me and overcame me. I grunted aloud as I strained to finish that final minute strong. I pushed. My body protested. I pushed some more. Finally, I heard the words I so wanted to hear, announcing that the run was over. I cried out, "Yes!" as I ran further on with my arms in the air. I allowed myslef to slow to a walk and I staggered from side to side. I took some deep breaths and slowed some more. I had done it--we had done it. We completed 25 minutes of running!

Including our warm-up walk, I covered about two miles during the 30 minute session. Mrs. F, who doubled back a few times, likely completed two and a half miles. While nowhere near stellar performances, they were stellar to us, and we both were pleased with the outcome. The main point is that we ran for 25 minutes without stopping or walking. I guess that's a really good thing, too, since that's what's on the schedule for all of next week!

Today's session also marks our completion of two-thirds of the Couch to 5k program. I could not have imagined that I would ever make it this far. This has been an amazing journey. Thanks for taking it with me!

Listening to the podcast announcement for the other days' runs, I noticed I was feeling a bit better at the 10 minute mark. It's not that I was any less tired--in fact, my legs were already feeling somewhat fatigued--but I did not have the despairing desire to quit that beset me at the onset. There was something about this that felt good--getting past the first ten minutes, and having that bit of confidence well up that said, "I can finish this." It seemed to be the same good feeling I had experienced on other days, but it was not as strong today.

As we reached the half-way point, I was even more tired, and I had to concentrate a bit more on my breathing. My pace slowed greatly.

Day 40 (Week 6, Day 5) - Mrs. F

As this morning rolled around, and I had about 4 hrs of sleep when the alarm went off, we made the executive decision to postpone the run til the afternoon. I was a bit nervous that with company coming and things to do, we would put it off and not run. But we did it!!

It certainely was different running in the afternoon in full sunlight versus the early morning darkness. The nice part about going at this time was the temp was fabulous! It was in the low 50s and great running weather. I found myself more self conscious than I am in the dark morning light. Everyone was polite and said good day or hi, so it was mostly just me. It just was different. I think I like the dark lol!

I was very unsure how this run would come out. I was coming off too little sleep, and a busy busy day cleaning the house for company. So my muscles were already warmed up but I worried that I would be sore as I did lots of scrubbing and mopping and washing windows. That didnt seem to be a problem. Although keeping my mental battle in the positive realm was harder. I was tired, the sun was bright and my body wanted to just give up at times.

The first 5-7 minutes was tough, finding the rhythm and getting going. The middle part of the run was fabulous -- I found my stride and I was going! I reached the end of our trail segment, turned around and ran back until I ran into Mr. F again. At that point, I turned around again and was running with Mr. F to the end of the trail again. Since I run faster than he does right now, this is one of the ways we can stick closer together.\

The last part of the run was hard! Really really hard! I found myself slowing down and just wanting to give up. I really had to give myself some good pep talks to keep going. I had no watch, so I had no real way to gage how much of the run I had left. I got to the beginning point of our trail and turned around again to run back to MR. F. That was a bit discouraging. Usually at that point, I am ready to walk to the car. So I really had to encourage myself to not give up yet, it wasnt time! I;m pretty sure I ran 2 full miles in the 25 minutes today!

So I continued on the trail, until I encountered Mr. F and then began running his direction once again. I believe at this point, we had 3 and a half minutes left. I made it almost back to the point, that my orginal 5 minute warm up walk took me.

Making more strides in the distance today felt really good but the run itself was far more challenging than I was prepared for. My legs and muscles are sore but nothing really to write about. And it was a good way to work off some of the stress I was feeling earlier today. It really helped improve my mood!

It was cold yesterday for my sons cc match. So he didnt beat his time but came in with a very respectable 19:02. So I changed my challenge to him, that if he beats his personal best (18:55), I will run two minutes with him. If he breaks 18:30, Ill run five. He really thinks I cant even do one. It amuses me greatly to know that not only can I do one but I can run 25 minute straight!

Keep on running
Mrs. F

Friday weight check (week 6)

FatManRunning
Last Friday: 288.5

Today: 286.5

Gain/Loss: -2.0

Goal: 210.0 lbs.

Cumulative loss: 13.9 lbs.

Pounds to lose: 76.5

Comment: I'm relieved to see a loss. It wasn't my best week. The cool thing is that we haven't run yet today. I wonder if that would shed another half pound or so...

Mrs. F
Last Friday: 177.9

Today: 176.3

Gain/Loss: -1.6

Goal: 150.00

Cumulative loss: 6.5 lbs.

Pounds to lose: 26.3

Comment: [no comment]

Day 40 (week 6) - Workout delayed to later today

Going to bed last night, it was official: we were going to see our first hard frost. That meant I was running outside after 9 PM to collect the last of the vegetables that were supposed to have been harvested by our eldest daughter. I came in with about 25 lbs. of tomatoes, mostly green, some green peppers, jalepenos, and three small honeydew melons. As such, and because Mrs. F and I ended the day in a bit of a row and I know that she was up three hours longer than was I, we decided to postpone this morning's workout until this afternoon. Hopefuly, we'll get to run at about 4 PM, when the projected high is 49ºF, and that provides some time for us to sort things out a bit, too.

Oh, well! Life happens. I'm not looking forward to my weigh-in today, as I don't believe I've been very dilligent this week on watching my portions and extra intake. My knee is a little sore today, but it is not giving me trouble while walking. I'll still wrap it, but I hope the worst of it is behind me.

Day 39 (week 6)

Well, Mrs. F and I didn't see that movie on Tuesday night because we had to be up early to run. So we decided to go out last night. It was a nice evening. It did keep us up a little later than our regular bed time, but that's not what kept me from getting rest. There were problems at the office again. Someone did something that took the computer network down, and I found myself going in to work after coming home from the movie--sometime after 11 PM--to take care of the problem. I was at the office until 1 AM, went home, and then was fighting the alarm clock at 6 AM. No wonder why I'm tired today.

The good news is that my left knee feels quite a bit better, but it is still a bit wonky. I plan to wrap and brace it again tomorrow morning. I can't say I'm looking forward to the run, but I'm not petrified of it, either.

The only potential hitch in our plan for the morning is that I need to go back into work again tonight after 7 PM, to make sure that the circuit with some overhead lighting that will be replaced is not one that will affect our computer systems. The breaker boxes were labeled years ago when the computer area of the building served another purpose, and the company never put forward the funds to properly wire the computer room to be on a set of isolated circuits. I'm hoping I'll only need to be in for about 30 minutes, but things don't always go as planned.

Anyway, we're off to watch our eldest boy run cross country again today. Our other runner is down with a fever, mild cough, and other potential flu-like symptoms, so we've quarantined him to his room and moved his other brothers elsewhere in the house. Hopefully, we can minimize the number of kids that get sick. Otherwise, we'll just end up prolonging the misery.

Day 39 - Mrs. F

Thankfully, no injuries to report! I'm looking forward to meeting the challenge of 25 minutes tommorrow. I have no doubt, it will be hard and very much a mental battle. I believe the weather is not slated to be favorable -- cold again -- but thus is life.

I challenged my cross country runner last evening. I told him that if he broke 18:10 so he ran faster than that time, I'd run 2 minutes with him. I made it a significant goal off of his fastest time of 18:55. 45 seconds is a lot in cross country races! His dad did this earlier in the season and made good on his promise. My son knows that I detest running and has no clue that not only can I run 2 minutes, but 20!

It shall be fun to surprise him!

Keep on running,
Mrs. F

Day 38 (Week 6, Day 3) - Mrs. F

Monday was hard, today was much better~! It was still challenging, dont get me wrong but much better run than Mondays torture. I made a conscious effort to wage a mental battle. I told myself yesterday and last night that it was going to be a good run. That and getting some decent sleep really made a difference I believe.

Although I briefly hoped this morning, Mr. F would agree to postponing our run til tonight,I found myself a bit excited to run today again. 5 am comes too early even if I get to bed at a decent hour!

The first set went well, the 5 minute mark came before I thought it would. The 2nd half of that first set -- I found my stride. I got to the end of the trail and turned around running back to meet Mr. F. It just felt good today. The 2nd 10 minute set was a bit harder to find that stride. I found that I was repeating "I can do this" a bit. It just seemed longer. And at the end, I wasnt sure if Mr. F called out the last minute warning or if he had called time. So I ended up stopping, trying to call out to him and then running back toward him. It did turn out to be time lol.

It supposedly was the same temp (40 degrees) as Monday but it didnt feel as cold. I added an extra layer by wearing a light windbreaker. That could have made the difference. Its a bit big on me, so I found it sliding up around my neck more than I liked but I made it work. Overall I was warm enough. I ended up taking off my cotton jersy gloves about halfway through again. I find I need them in the beginning but my hands quickly get too warm.

After Mondays workout, I was fearing Fridays 25 minute run again. Todays workout reinforced the fact I can do this. It wont be easy but its not quite as scary as I thought it might be!

Muscles are feeling worked but not bad! No real pain to report --woohoo!

Keep on running,
Mrs. F

Day 38 (week 6)

Well, I made it through today's workout--two 10-minute runs separated by a 3-minute walk.

Today was a bit of a roller coaster. It began as I expected (self-fulfilling prophecy?)--I did not want to get up. I did not want to run. It's finally been cold enough that Mrs. F pulled the down comforter out of storage yesterday, and I was enjoying the additional warmth and the additional weight. Oh, how I love a heavy stack of blankets (when it's cold enough to warrant them)!

I did not want to get dressed, but I did. I stepped outside, and the force of the cold air hit me square in the chest. I pivoted on my heels and went back inside, nearly knocking down Mrs. F, who simply went past me and out the door to the car she had started earlier. I wanted to run--to the bedroom--but, instead, I grabbed my fleece vest and headed out to the car.

I did not want to run. My knee felt surprisingly good when I woke, perhaps due to the extra warmth provided by our extra layer of covers, but I knew it would bother me soon after placing weight on it. I decided to double my efforts to wrap the knee. I began with a 3" elastic wrap, and then I pulled the brace over the top. It felt more snug, but it did not immediately collapse behind my knee as the brace alone had done on Monday. We arrived near the lake, but I did not want to get out of the car.

I was greeted by a sound we had not hear during our first five weeks--water rushing over the little dam where we park. We had heard it on Monday, but I was too miserable to mention it after that day's workout. It was a loud rush, and a welcome sound. I've always loved the sound of rushing water. It reminds me of all of the time I've spent in a canoe, but that's another story.

I did not even want to walk the warm-up walk. As we began, I stated aloud that I did not want to be there. I was tired and uncomfortable, and I knew the run would be miserable. Mrs. F replied with some kind words, but I didn't hear them clearly. All I could hear was the podcast, and I just wanted the voice to shut up and the music to fade. The wrap/brace combination seemed to be working. It had not yet slid down, and my walk was fairly comfortable.

I began the run. Immediately it was clear that my pace was slow. Mrs. F began to pull ahead fairly early. My legs were sore, and my hands and the back of my neck were cold. It was 40°F this morning, but there was no rain, and the stars were clear in the sky. We were running with Orion once again. I just wanted to collapse on the trail. I exclaimed, "I'm a fat man, and I've been a fat man most of my life." Something stopped me from continuing with my thought, "and I'm going to be a fat man until the day I die." I pushed on.

The 10 minute run seemed near an eternity. We started the run about the same place we've began for weeks, a five-minute walk down the trail, but the run today--even at my slowed pace--took me to the end of the trail where we would normally turn around. Mrs. F had already reached the end, turned aound, and run back to me, so we were again running together. As we turned to take a little loop through a part at that end of the trail, the end of the first run was announced.

As has been true on other days, my breathing was fine. It was the rest of my body that was simply spent. I announced that I could not take it any more. "It's just so hard," I cried. Then I literally cried. "It's just so hard."

I could not imagine going on. Had we been on the track we used on Friday, I might have gone down the stairs and left the building at that point. Here, outside in the brisk morning air, I knew I was still about a mile from our car. I had to walk in either case, so I walked. I had a few creaks in my left knee, and the wrap had clearly moved down some, but it seemed to be holding out better than I had expected.

That emotional outburst helped. I don't understand why, but I felt better for having said what I said, and having cried as I did, even though I was still walking.

When the next run began, I obliged and picked up the pace. That's when I got this morning's surprise. As my feet struck, one after another, and my arms swung, I suddenly realized that I felt pretty good. I was still sore and a little stiff, but I no longer felt so dead tired. In fact, I found myself feeling pretty good. Instead of letting Mrs. F pull ahead, I found myself keeping up with her, just a few steps behind. The run felt good until about the half-way point. That's when the sense of physical fatigue hit me again, I began to slow down, and I let Mrs. F pull ahead.

Those final five minutes were difficult, though not in the same way as it had been at the start of today's session. Now it was true fatigue in my legs. In addition, my wrap had slumped even more, and now I was feeling more discomfort in that left knee. I sped up...and slowed down...and sped up...and slowed down. It did nothing to help my legs, but it did give me something to occupy my mind. When we got into the final few minutes, I did my best to speed up. At one point I thought I was catching up to Mrs. F, but then she was beyond my line of sight in a slight curve. When the run ended, I called out loudly, since I knew she was again far ahead of me. She heard me, but wasn't sure if I had sounded the end, so she was still running when she came into view as she ran back toward me. Together, we walked out our cool-down, and then we drove home.

I don't know how things will go Friday, but they went better today than I had feared. I can't say that I'm looking forward to Friday, but I'm committed to making it happen.

Day 37 (week 6, day 2) - a down day

I don't know if it's the gloomy weather (it's been rainy and cloudly most of the time since last week), shorter days, family stresses, or the fact that my left leg still doesn't feel right, but it is just a down day for me. I have little energy, and tremendous cravings for junk food (I'd trade almost anything for a plate of brownies right now). Why is it that junk food cravings are so much stronger when you are having a down day? I know that the food can make me feel good for a while, but I'm going to try to avoid that path this evening.

Even though I can already tell that my body won't want to run tomorrow, I'll be going out anyway. I'm not giving myself a choice. Oh, but I still want something sweet to nash on...

Ugh! I hate feeling like this. I can't fall back into old habits now, or it's all over for me.

I really want some peace and quiet, but with a house full of kids at home, I know that's not a realistic expectation. My wife and I had talked about sneaking out for a bargain movie one night this week. Perhaps tonight is the night. If we do go, I promise to be good at the snack counter.

Day 37- Mrs. F

I got a good amount of sleep last night, so Im hoping for a repeat tonite! Overall feeling okay. My left leg calf, from behind the knee, down into the leg is tight and a bit sore. Im not sure if thats strain or just the muscle working itself out.

I am going to try to do more stretching tonight.

Its raining again today and cold. It makes me really glad to not be running this morning. The cold is a challenge onto itself without adding rain to the mix!

Keep on running,
Mrs. F

Day 36 (week 6, day 1) - Mrs. F

I thought today would be easy after managing the 20 minute run. Boy was I wrong! Today was absolutely miserable. I only managed to keep going out of sheer determination. It was cold (40 degrees) and I just couldnt find my stride. It wasnt until the 3rd set that I found a minute of my stride and then it went back to the slow pitiful run I did today.

I remember waking up this morning and thinking bout pushing todays workout off til Tuesday. It was the thought of having to run on Saturday morning that got me out of bed! I much prefer the MWF option.

I hope that my body learns to adjust to running in the cold. I dont have a lot of other feasible options rather than running with the weather. My chest hurt again today, although not as burning as the first few weeks. My muscles were sore this morning after the workout. I almost felt like I was back at week 3 again!! It certainely wasnt the high I felt after Friday's workout.

My body acted like it just wanted to stop and walk. It was hard!! I wonder about Wednesday, whether the longer 10 minutes stretch will help keep us moving better. And I'm once again frightened of the 25 minute Friday run. Good thing Im very stubborn!

keep on running,
Mrs. F

Day 36 (week 6, day 1)

After making it through Friday, I thought this morning would be fairly easy (aside from knee pain, which is an issue unto itself). I was wrong. I don't know if it was yesterday's family turmoil, getting to bed late, or the 40°F reading that made it so hard this morning. In reality, it was likely a combination of the three.

My knee brace did not work out as well as I had hoped. It kept working down from the top and bunching up at the knee. It might have provided some support, but definately not that for which I was hoping. In reality, the knee only bothered me during the walking segments, but once it was agitated, it affected my run. I really need to figure out what's going on with it.

Between my legs feeling fatigued, almost from the start of the session, and the pain in my knee, it was a miserable workout this morning. I got through it, but I wanted to quit on more than one occasion. In fact, that was probably my prevalent train of thought, "I just want to give up."

Thankfully, I made it through, though it was really tough today. It wasn't my breathing. It was just my legs and feeling fatigued.

While out picking up that knee brace yesterday, we ran into some friends. I'm amazed by how you can know someone for a while and still learn more things about them. As it turns out, he's a veteran of four marathons. He was excited to learn about our secret plan. We talked a bit about how hard it was for us during the first few weeks, and how there are still some days where we feel like quitting. He mentioned that, should we ever feel fatigued, we should just consider stopping and trying again later in the day or later in the week. While I appreciated what he was trying to convey, I let him know that doing that was not an option for me because, once I stop doing something, I find it very hard to ever start doing it again. For me, missing one day would jeopardize ending the whole effort.

Yet today I seriously considered it. During the warm-up walk and the first run, I was so uncomfortable that I wondered about trying it again later in the day, when it would be warmer, and brighter, and when I would be more ready. I know myself, however, so I know that "later today" would become "tomorrow," and that "tomorrow" would become "we'll try again next week." At that point, "next week" might as well be "next year."

It's on days like today I just wish I could wake up thin, or at least with a 50lb. head start on my weight loss. I've always been big, and I've most always hated it. So many people assume that people are fat because they are lazy. When I reached my peak, I tried exercising to lose weight, but at that time even walking was painful for more than short distances. Everyone says "exercise," but that's hard to do when you have no energy and no endurance. This Couch to 5k program has been great in that is has allowed me a way to step into things, but given as had as it was during the first week, I'm pretty sure there are many out there who would have trouble completing Week 1. I'm not going to fault them, or point fingers at them. I've been there.

I'm hoping my knee settles down. I can't imagine continuing on it during the rest of the week if it continues to feel the way it does now. Yet I know I need to continue--I cannot give up. Giving up would negate everything I've gained (and lost!) thus far. I don't want to go back to being that way. I want to keep moving forward. Why must it all be so hard?

Day 35

I'm getting this post out late. It was a long day. Mrs. F and I ran into a larger town today to find a knee support I could wear. I've had it on throughout the evening, and it seems to help some. We had a minor family crisis tonight with our teens that simply drained us physically and emotionally. I'm not sure I'm ready for the morning, since my knee is still somewhat sore, even with the brace.

Here's the plan for the week:

Monday

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

• Jog 5 minutes
• Walk 3 minutes
• Jog 8 minutes
• Walk 3 minutes
• Jog 5 minutes

Wednesday
Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

• Jog 10 minutes
• Walk 3 minutes
• Jog 10 minutes

Friday
Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then jog 25 minutes with no walking